Day After Day

Jenna Williamson

When Jackson kissed me goodbye, I no longer felt the guilt I did when loved ones of these girls kissed them goodbye. It broke my heart at first. I would cry uncontrollably and apologize profusely to them. They had no idea what was going on, but I did. In less than twenty-four hours I was going to be somebody new.

I don't know why it's happening. For the last thirty-five days I have woken up every morning as someone new. I can't even remember my life before this. I search through these girls' wallets to see what their names were and who they are, but I don't know what my name is or who I am.

When I went back up to Cassandra's apartment, I threw everything off of the couch. I used my arms to swipe all of the dishes, clothes and towels down onto the floor and began pushing the couch forward. I pushed it towards the door, hitting the table end and knocking the lamp down onto the floor. It didn't matter if I broke everything of hers, she wasn't going to need it anymore.

I needed to try and trap myself in this apartment. If I can't leave after I black out, then maybe I'll wake up as Cassandra. I would do anything to make this stop.

I pushed the couch until it was up against the front door. Next, I grabbed everything I could find and piled it in front of the door. Barricading myself inside these girls' houses never helped, but I couldn't stop myself from trying. I had to at least try to stop it.

Once all of the junk in this cluttered apartment was in front of the door, I flopped back down onto her bed. I rolled myself up in the blankets and closed my eyes.

These days seemed to drag on forever.

--

My stomach began to growl and I raided her fridge. It didn't surprise me to see that everything in her fridge was disorder and chaos, just like the rest of her apartment. I opened up random Tupperware containers and sniffed what's inside. I finally settled on one container that I assumed was chicken noodle soup. I put it into the microwave and searched through her drawers for a spoon.

The microwave beeped and I pulled out the steaming bowl of soup. I dropped it on the counter and looked across the apartment at the television. I try avoid turning the TV on for as long as I can. I hated seeing people crying over the person I used to be.

There was a stereo underneath the television. I walked over and opened up the cupboards under the stereo and I found Cassandra's collection of CDs. I was surprised to see that they were neatly lined up in the cupboard. This must have been something she really cared about.

As I looked through them, I threw the crappy boy band ones over my shoulder. I finally found a band I listened to and popped into the slot. I turned up the volume and went back over to the kitchen singing along. I ate my soup and in between bites I danced along to the music.

After I was full of soup, I moved into the now empty living room. I turned up the music and hoped that it would bother the neighbors. If the barricades don't work, I hope the neighbors find Cassandra before her body starts to rot.

The pain started to twist in my stomach as the rose of darkness began to bloom in my eyes. I fell down onto my knees as I screamed out in pain. I rolled over onto my back as my chest heaved up and down and the darkness completely filled my vision.

This has happened to me every night for the past thirty-six days.

--

My eyes hurt as I slowly opened them up. The room was pitch black, and I was laying down on my stomach in a mess of blankets. As my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness in the room, I noticed that there were drapes covering the windows.