Ms. Irregular [On-Going]

Ms. Irregular : 1

Sometimes giving up is our only
choice when we can't run to others.

Chapter 1:

"Sobrang umasa ako na magagawa mo 'to, Charlotte, pero alam ko naman talagang kaya mo e. May problema ba?" tanong sa'kin ng admin head.

Talagang siya pa ang kumausap sa'kin, instead na ang guidance counselor. Well, siya naman kasi talaga ang guardian ko. Being an orphan is like traveling different journeys in one lifetime. Magulo at masalimuot, pero nagpapasalamat ako sa ngayon, sa pagmamahal na kayang ibigay ng bago kong kinikilalang mama.

"Ma, sorry po." sambit ko habang nakayuko.

"Okay lang, anak. Alam kong may dahilan ka naman, at hindi muna kita pipiliting sabihin sa'kin kung ano 'yon." sambit niya atsaka na ako lumabas ng admin office.

Everyone was saying na ako ang pwedeng maging Cum Laude ng college namin, which is BSP, but I messed up and everyone was shocked that I didn't passed the qualifying exam.

Sinadya? Yes, sinadya ko talaga.

Palabas na ako ng school nang biglang may bumangga sa'kin. I knew, sinadya niya.

Nahulog tuloy lahat ng requirements ko, even my card and the request form for taking another course.

I have to transfer, and I wanted to...

"Woah~ Irregular." nagulat ako sa sinabi niya.

He's holding the form.

"From Psych to Pre-school teaching. Anong nangyari?" tanong niya muli at hinatak sa kanya ang form.

"It's none of your business." I said at tumayo na.

Pero nagulat ako ng hatakin niya ang report-card ko.

"Hindi naman mababa grades mo. Why is that? Sinadya?" he asked and smile at me gently.

Kinuha ko muli ang card sa kanya. Bumuntong hininga naman siya, dahil sa hindi ko pag-sagot.

"Sabagay, girls now a days, mabilis mag-sawa." I don't know, but it makes me laugh.

"I never had a boyfriend I don't know what you're talking about." I answered, but he laughed more.

"Wait? I'm not asking, anyway. I think you like me." he said confidently. "I'm Triv Suliman." sambit niya at mukhang gustong makipag-kamay.

"Charlotte." sagot ko, pero 'di ko siya kinamayan at nagpatuloy nalang sa paglalakad.

"Wait! BSCE 1-1." hindi naman ako lumingon. "Ms. Irregular!" he shouted.

I hope the guards will take him away and get rid of him.

***

Pinakiusapan ko naman ang scholarship ko, at ininform ko sila na sa qualifying exam lang naman ko bagsak at hindi sa grades ko.

Alam kong pwedeng mag-shift, pero hindi 'yon magiging valid. Walang papayag. I need a proper reason to let go that course that's why I did the sadya thing.

Almost half an hour akong nakipag-diskusyon and the reasoning I made didn't work well. Ang sagot nila sa'kin... "Don't play everything, hindi porket matalino ka e pwede mo na 'yong gawin. We are looking for hardworking scholars not those who are excelling, but prideful."

I hope I can tell them the real reason why, kaso for now it must be kept inside me, alone.

Umuwi akong hopeless. I felt depressed. I really am. I lost the track I wanted which is being a Psych professional, and I lost everyone's trust on me. I knew they are thinking na sobrang taas ng tingin ko sa sarili ko kaya ko 'yon ginawa, but no one knows I am really broken. I am really disappointed on myself, but what I can do? This is the only way to escape someone else.

Sometimes giving up is the only choice when we can't run to others. I can't run unto someone or tell them what I really feel, because it can shatter someone else's reputation.

Tingin ng iba being prideful ito, pero they don't know na this is humility. This giving up is the only way to fix everything.

-YourAyorn // I 🌼 U