sanguine ⏩ sirius black

15.

(y'all can thank winterjbarnes for this update because she inspired me to do this quicker)

AS THE TRIP TO HOGSMEADE GREW CLOSER, Farrah was having more and more second thoughts about going through with it. She had several pieces of parchment all tucked in different books where she had written down the pros and cons multiple times, in an attempt to stand her ground with her decision (or, to talk herself out of it). Each time, her list consisted of the same points.

The Pros:

* An experience.

* Questions answered.

* Sirius Black, I guess???

The Cons:

*Lying to the boys

*Hurting Reggie

*SIRIUS BLACK

The only reason she stopped making the lists was because Josh had almost caught her one time and that would have been catastrophic. Farrah was good but there was no way that she could explain that without having to tell them the truth.

Farrah opened her eyes on the 12th of February, the day that was set to be the Valentine's trip to Hogsmeade, and her stomach was rampant with nerves. She was scared; sure, there were plenty of things she hadn't told the boys but she had never flat-out lied to them. Until now. Until Sirius Black. However, the fear of her friends finding out was overpowered by a childlike giddiness. One that she hadn't felt in years and didn't understand why she felt that way towards Sirius Black.

While she showered, she made a list again. She ran through all her experiences with Sirius Black. He had always been funny and easygoing for as long as she could remember. She recalled thinking he was cute the first time she saw him, walking around with the Lupin boy who had knocked her down in the train and two other boys. At this point, the Marauders weren't yet the kings of the school but they sure strutted down the corridors like they knew they would be. Farrah also remembered dismissing the idea of Sirius Black when she and Regulus became friends because even though Regulus looked up to Sirius and they were still on good terms, something about your best friend's brother always felt dangerously off-limits.

Regulus. All of the cons to her list revolved around Regulus.

Ever since the year had started, Sirius had been nothing but malicious towards his younger brother. Farrah still hadn't heard the full story of the night Sirius left home. She was beginning to think she never would. Regulus seemed to have repressed the memory, the only indication that it happened being the look he got in his eye whenever he saw Sirius enter a room. 

The way that Sirius treated Regulus, Farrah should have wanted nothing to do with him. After all, Regulus was her best friend.

But the journal. All of the pros to the list revolved around the journal.

Reading the journal had shown Farrah that like most people, Sirius Black had layers. Along with all the pranks and the mappings and the spells in the book, the Gryffindor also had little scribbles of information all over the journal that painted his personality. A spell scribbled in one corner that was supposed to help Peter out during exams. A charm that would help Remus with his 'furry little problem' (Does Remus have a bunny? I don't remember Remus having a bunny, she thought). He had even circled an enchantment and drawn a line away from it, writing Regulus would love this.

The journal showed her that Sirius had a heart, no matter how narcissistic he acted. And that that heart was good, no matter how cold he made himself out to be. If he portrayed himself as he was, as the journal said he was, he could have been considered human.