When the Moon shines

Ciggarettes

I'm sitting on my usual spot on the old bench under the giant tree behind the house where my grandparents lived before they died, a cigarette in between my lips, breathing in deeply and then releasing the smoke from my lungs.

I'm not an outgoing Person, I'm kind of shy and I don't have many friends, and I really enjoy listening to metal music, it ranges from Metallica to Slipknot, Korn, Cannibal Corpse and Suicide Silence, I Prevail and Attila, even though the last two are only Core so not really metal, but I don't really care.

So, you have to know that I ve been struggling with depression my whole life and everything is pretty much going downhill at the moment. You could say that I'm currently planning my suicide and it won't take much longer until ill fulfill my plan. I've been self-harming for about four years and was in and out of therapy, but that was when my dad was still alive.

A bit about myself: I'm Ashley, I'm almost seventeen, I live with my mother in a small city in Iowa.
You could say I'm the black sheep of the family, but my mom isn't that much better, she has been aggressive and hating towards me ever since my dad died three years ago.

Welcome to my life or what's left of it.