Agent Nicks; Spencer Reid

19

I was sitting outside of my house with Hotch.

“He’ll cool off, just give it time.”

I nodded.

“It was stupid of me,” I said.

“You did what you thought would help.”

“Yeah, but it could’ve gotten me killed.”

“Just remember you did what you thought would help. Nobody died today and that’s a good thing.”

Hotch hugged me and I sat back on the curb.

“Caught a girl in the park a few blocks down, all black and carrying a gun in her purse. Cuffed her,” Derek came through on Hotch’s phone.

“Emily, let’s go pick up a suspect. Spencer, take Carrie to your’s for the night,” Hotch ordered.

Hotch and Emily left. Spencer came to me and grabbed my hand. He dragged me to his car and we left.

“I didn’t grab clothes,” I whispered.

Spencer said nothing as he drove to his apartment. The tension was horrid. Every movement he made was aggressive and sharp. When we got to his apartment he stopped his car and I unbuckled my seat belt. We both got out and we went up to his apartment. When we got in he took his shoes off and went to his room. I didn’t know what to do. I decided to give him time alone so I sat on the couch. I went on my phone and texted Toby.

Me

- Do not, under any circumstances, go home. There was a break in and a girl held Spencer and I at gunpoint. We’re ok and I’m not home.

Toby

- Where are you? Love you, be safe.

“Are you coming in here?” Spencer asked.

I jumped, not knowing he was there. I looked up from my phone. Spencer stood in the doorway to the living room in boxers and a t-shirt.

“I thought you’d want some space.”

He came over to me and pulled me to his room. He closed his door and hugged me.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t believe you didn’t listen to me,” He said holding me.

“I’m sorry, I just knew you didn’t have any bullets and she had a gun, Spencer you could’ve been killed just the same as me.”

“It doesn’t matter, she didn’t want me she wanted you. She can’t have you, whether she wants you dead or not.”

“Spencer, I don’t want you putting yourself in danger for me.”

“I can’t promise that.”

“That’s not very reassuring.”

“Sorry.”

I pulled away and punched his arm.

“Seriously.”

Spencer shrugged.

“Spencer! At least try,” I hugged him from behind and sighed.

He turned around and hugged me.

“Time for bed.”

He picked me up and held me.

“God, you’re light.”

He sat me on the bed and laid next to me. I turned away from him and sat my phone down. I curled up and sat there. I felt Spencer’s arms wrap around me and pull me closer to him. His hand went under my shirt and laid over my stomach. I got up and ran to his bathroom. I kneeled before his toilet and threw up. I was so gross. I felt Spencer’s hand on my back.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer said.

I felt bad. This wasn’t his fault. None of it was. I just don’t want to lose him. I’m terrified of losing him. I stopped throwing up when it was all clear. I cried as I held myself up above the toilet. I felt weak. My body wasn’t used to this anymore. Spencer’s hands grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. He held me close to him.

“I’m sorry, I’ll always be here for you no matter what,” He said running his hands through my hair.

“I don’t want to lose you,” I said while crying.

“You’re not going to.”

Spencer picked me up and brought me back to his bed. I had stopped crying.

“Do you have a notebook?” I asked, sniffling a bit.

“Yeah, give me a second,” Spencer said walked out of the room.

He came back with a pen and a notebook. He handed me both and sat next to me. I wrote down the date and logged what happened. Spencer leaned on me and kissed my neck and shoulder. He left the room again and I closed the notebook and sat it on the bed side table. Spencer came back in holding a hard plastic water bottle.

“Drink,” He said handing it to me.

I drank the water and sat it down. Spencer sat on the bed watching me.

“Stop looking at me like I’m a wild animal, I’m not going to run away if you move too fast,” I said.

“Sorry.”

I laid down and pulled Spencer down with me. He kissed my forehead.

~

I woke up to an alarm. Spencer moved his arm to turn it off. He turned back to me and kissed me.

“Good Morning,” I said.

“Good morning.”

We looked at each other for a few minutes then we started getting up. I took a shower as Spencer brushed his teeth and got dressed. I pulled on my clothes from yesterday and we left. We stopped by my house so I could put on proper clothes. After changing I left with Spencer. Fridays were usually good, but today I’d have to tell everyone at the church I was struggling which means I’d probably cry and I hate being so vulnerable to everyone. The thought drove me crazy while working. I took my mind off of it by working even harder.

After probably about three hours a hand laid on my shoulder. I kept typing hoping it would leave, but it stayed. I turned around in my chair to see Spencer.

“Try not to overwork yourself,” He said handing me a bag of chips.

I nodded and sat the bag of chips next to my phone. I turned back to my computer and began working again. After a while I went to Hotch for files.

“I still can’t believe you won’t let me help with the case,” I said grabbing a stack of files.

“We’re working as hard as ever and making sure that the culprit is caught.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I didn’t think It’d be a good idea, if we have any questions we will come to you. Close the door on your way out please.”

“Mhm,” I hummed leaving the room, making the fact that I didn’t close his door an act of rebellion.

I went to my desk and went to work.

~

A familiar hand laid on my shoulder and I turned around again, sighing.