From Zero ¦ Hyungwonho

6 - {No}

Wonho's POV

That feeling. I haven't felt that for 2 years. My lips on his, making me feel completed. I can't quite express that feeling. It's the feeling you get when a baby smiles at you, when a dog is playing with you, when your crush tells you they like you too, when you get to meet a person you haven't seen in a long time. That's how I felt.

But Hyungwon was quick to push me away harshly.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he said being mad as hell.

"I-I-you would have a p-panic attack. I'm sorry I didn't know what else to do to calm you" I told him stuttering. At least it actually made him forget about the elevator.

"I'm doing my best trying to get along with YOU being as less awkward and impatient as I can. You just made it 10 times worse." he told me and I felt my heart breaking a little bit more.

I let myself get emotional, give in to the emotions I have about him. No, I won't let him talk to me like that as if it's okay.

"Look, it's not the best for me to be with you as well. As I told you I don't care about you or your photography, I only came here for my job and for the trip. As for the kiss, I only did it to distract you because I saw you were really upset. It's not like I wanted it or whatever. Get over yourself and stop thinking like you're the queen." I told him. I was probably too harsh but I don't care, it's not like he has a better behavior towards me.

He stopped talking and we were just standing there waiting for the elevator to start again in silence. After a while we reached our floor and walked towards the room. I changed and laid down in order to relax. I was honestly so tired that I fell asleep as soon as my body touched the bed.

Hyungwon's POV

I can't believe he kissed me. Actually no, I can't believe he kissed me and then said all these things to me. I don't know if I'm mad, sad, hurt or offended.

While he fell asleep I placed my things where they should be and then went to the balcony. The view was amazing, I realize now why everyone love Paris so much. It's full of green and parks.

I brought a cigarette in my mouth and  lit it. I rarely smoke but today I feel like I really need it. It's been a long day and it's the only thing that can relax me, like it or not.

When Wonho's kissed me, I realized how much I missed him but I can't let these feeling affect me. He's a cheater. He's a person who broke my heart and no matter how much I want to go inside right now and sleep with him I know I shouldn't. I'm not gonna drop my shield and give in.

Then he said all these things and I felt like his words stabbed me in places where I got hurt but didn't die. I couldn't reply to him because I felt all my strength leaving me. I thought I was gonna cry but I didn't let myself do that. He doesn't deserve my tears.

I just wanna get this over with and return back home and never communicate with him again.

I didn't realize that I had smoked 3 cigarettes and had already lit the 3rd one. Something I've never done before.

"You know smoking kills you right?" Wonho said from behind me and I jumped a little bit not waiting to hear him. I chose not to answer him and continued doing my thing. I really didn't want to hear him nagging about me smoking or whatever.

"Give me one" he told me and I turned to look at him surprised.

"No I won't" I told him sternly.

"Why not?" he asked and honestly I didn't know how to answer but I didn't want him to smoke for his own health. But of course I could never admit that to him.

"Because I said so" I told him walking back inside. Wonho stayed there though and seemed lost in his thoughts so I decided to leave him alone and order some food since it was already 9pm and we hadn't eaten anything.

Wonho's POV

I had a nightmare about him again. That's the reason I woke up. I decided to come have some fresh air when I saw Hyungwon already there smoking. When did he start smoking? Why is his smoking?

I asked him for a cigarette but he refused. Maybe he cares. But he doesn't. My mind says and it's probably right. He probably didn't want to waste his cigarettes.

Who's him you might wonder. He's my biggest fear. Hes the person who made me change throughout the last year. I never talked about him to anyone. Even after the news talked about him, I always said that I don't know him. But I did. He was the worst person. He had done so many bad things to so many people. I don't know if they were all as bad as me, but if they were then they'll have scars for their whole lives.

There was a period of time, after his death, that I would get several nightmares, more like memories. But after some time I started feeling better, my friends helped me. They didn't know why I was like this but they all helped me without questioning.

When I saw Hyungwon again, I felt like I was safe. His presence made me feel relaxed. Whenever we're talking you'd think I hate him. I can't hate the most important person in my life. I wanna talk to him. Ask him what happened then. Tell him what happened after. Tell him about him. But I couldn't. We were nothing more than two people who hate each other.

_______________________________________

Hmmm who's him?
Also Hyungwon is smoking. This bitch I knew I should have raised him better
I hope I didn't make you feel offended in any point of this chapter. Thanks for reading it I hope you enjoyed it and it wasn't boring.
Remember that I love you💗