Aromantic

Losing Friends

That shit HURTED.

Once in a while I remember all the friends I've lost along the way. Someone asked me what was wrong, why was I so quiet? and I said I was thinking about losing friends.

He said, "the ones that matter will never leave."

I think a lot of them will still leave, though. That's just how life is. I've had a couple close friends I've lost contact with, or that I'm just not on the same terms with anymore. 

Maybe they won't matter in the distant future, but even now, years later, I still feel kicked in the chest. One of my old squishes just stopped talking to me and straight up replaced me. It was like she walked into my soul, carved off a piece, and took it with her. I talk to her sometimes, but she's not the same person I knew.

And that's what friendships are  to me. They're people who walk into my heart to stay for a while, but I know that at some point they'll have to leave. Maybe they'll leave a number or a new address, but they just won't keep that same spot all the time. It's not always that they leave, though. Sometimes we drift, but we still know that we're there for each other. It's another spot in my heart. Not as frequently visited, but still dependable.

Loving and losing is just a part of life, I guess. But the loving is still there, and it's so fun. I love making new friends and I love  treating them like we've known each other forever. Every Valentine's Day I make cupcakes for my friends, bring them to school, and distribute them. I'm proud to say that I have so many friends now that bringing that many cupcakes is cumbersome. It's not gonna stop me though.

It's fine, of course, if you're aromantic and aplatonic. You're not being forced to make friends. I just love how my aromanticism ties into friendship. I love that I can value my friendships for what they are — friendships. I love that I can hold clear skies and stormy clouds to the same level. Life is full of ups and downs, and the downs are what make the ups worthwhile. So I appreciate them both.

a/n:  sorry the chapter's short. i've been busy with school :/