The Journey of a Drug Addict and How I Made It Out Alive

The Early Days

I can almost remember it like it was yesterday, the first time I tried a drug. It was Marijuana and I was barely thirteen years old. I can still remember the people I was with (my so-called friends), how the sun was shining, and even the smell of the air on that fateful day. Little did I know, that at thirteen years old, that one decision would determine how the rest of my life would go.

I guess I should start from the very beginning so here it goes;
I was born on April 2nd, 1994, in a hospital in Manhattan, New York. My life was chaotic before I had even entered this strange world. My parents told me a story from when they were at the hospital and my mother was in labor. Someone had come into the hospital with a knife, his wife was having a baby by another man. He came in with the intent to harm the man his wife was having her baby with. Before he could get to the man, my mothers doctor (who was supposed to birth me), tackled the man to the ground right before he was supposed to aid my mother in her delivery! So before I even came out my life was already chaotic.

Flash forward a couple years, I was a little girl at this point with the whole world at my fingertips, or so I thought. My parents did the best they could with me, but they both worked at the time, so they always dropped me off at my grandmother and grandfathers house on a daily basis for years. I was constantly with my grandparents, they basically raised me from an infant. They were the ones that taught me how to walk, talk, crawl, and all that other good stuff that normally your parents would do. I grew to become very attached to my grandparents, after all, I was with them most of the time! We had a very special inseparable bond, I never wanted to leave their house!

Four years after I was born, in 1998, my sister was born. My mom quit her job due to having two children now instead of one. Still, I was always with my grandparents, I didn't want to come home. See at my house with my parents there was constant fighting and bickering. It wasn't a very loving home. My father worked long hours and it would stress him out to the point that he would become very angry and mean at the drop of a hat. I don't want to bad mouth my father because now we have an amazing relationship, but when I was younger, that wasn't the case. I suffered some mental, emotional, and physical abuse at the hands of my parents and for years this abuse went on.

By the time I was in third grade, my parents had decided we were moving from New York to  New Jersey. I didn't want to leave, I had friends there, I had my school, and most of all I had my grandparents and family I was leaving behind. My life suddenly felt like it was spinning out of control. For someone who is in third grade it can be devastating to say goodbye to everyone on moving day. This is when my life started to take a turn for the worse. When we finally got to my new town in New Jersey, I didn't know anybody. I started at a new school and I recall it being a very scary experience. I couldn't make friends that easily and I was extremely shy. That made my life hell.

Years went by and I still didn't have many friends, I was being bullied on a daily basis, and I just didn't "fit in". I was devastated, I missed my old friends, my old town, and my family most of all! I felt this gaping whole inside of my heart and I couldn't figure out why. I felt so alone, and so fearful that I would never be accepted.

Flash forward again to Middle School, I had made some friends at this point, but they were not very good ones. They would try to peer pressure me, and influence me to do things that I knew were wrong, but all I wanted to do was fit in. My friend and I had tried Marijuana for the first time. It was like a light bulb went on in my head, and I finally felt "normal". We began using Marijuana on a daily basis almost. After that, I started smoking cigarettes, and I even tried drinking alcohol. Those were the only things that would numb the pain.

I was in High School at this point now, and I had a couple people who I considered my friends. We were still doing the same stuff, smoking weed, drinking, and smoking cigarettes. I thought it was something all kids tried out and did for fun. My Sophmore year in high school, I had a girl I had been friends with for five years, and a boyfriend I had been dating for three years. We all used to hang out together, sometimes every single day! Little did I know, they were sneaking around behind my back. Next thing I know, my boyfriend of three years leaves me, my so-called best friend leaves me, and I am left all by myself. Meanwhile, I was still dealing with an unhealthy relationship with my parents and their bad parenting skills while all of this is going on. I had no one to turn to, and most importantly, no one to talk to!

My life spiraled way down from that point on.