Seductive Salvation (Book One of The Mafia Heiress Series)

Chapter Ten

Valeria

I hadn't left my room in two months. Amarissa and Sergei had checked on me countless times, asking if I was feeling any better. I didn't speak because I didn't know if words would even leave my lips. Ivan had stayed longer and he made sure to remind me how worthless I was when no one else was around, playing with my head when he held me and apologized for hurting me and being cruel. He hadn't meant any of it, he was only trying to look like he cared to piss off Sergei as he now knew that he had sold me to his brother. Ivan only made things worse, touching me and forcing himself on me continually when Sergei wasn't around. I didn't have a voice so I couldn't say or do anything.

Sergei would come in at night and talk to me. I couldn't bear to look at him. I knew that pain would be written all over his face. He hated himself for allowing Ivan to take me upstairs but knowing that if he hadn't let it happen then much worse could have happened. The doctor had come by earlier in the afternoon to check my scars and make me take my medication. Amarissa had brought me lunch, knowing that I wouldn't eat it. The doctor had voiced his concern for my sudden weight loss. I was a shell, barely existing. 

"Valeria, please look at me. I can't keep watching you kill yourself from not eating. You are fading away right in front of me. How am I supposed to show you what love is if you won't be here to let me?" Sergei was pleading for me to eat while he held the bowl of soup in his hands. I finally found the strength to look at him, bracing myself for the pain in his eyes. I turned my head to face him. He smiled like I've never seen before. He put the soup down and I suppose he chose to take one win at a time. "There you are, my beautiful girl. I see you, again. You can't hide from me." He hesitantly sat on the foot of the bed. He was silently asking my permission to be so close to me. I didn't object because honestly I was missing him, his touch, and his warmth. There was a knock on the door so he got up to open it.

Ivan was standing in the doorway with the doctor by his side. "Dr. Kort has somethings that she needs to speak to Valeria about. I was just chatting with her about how Valeria is progressing and she agrees that she should put her training days behind her and teach the future generations instead as it's less time and energy consuming." I watched them walk into my room.

"Valeria, it's Dr. Kort. Do you mind if we talk? I need to tell you something important." She sat down in the chair that was my bedside. "Just nod if you would like for us to talk alone or if you want people here with you. I can understand if you don't want to be alone"

I wanted to tell her the I wanted Sergei here but I didn't want to start a fight and I still didn't know if I could talk. I shook my head 'no' and Sergei and Ivan left the room. I had a feeling Ivan already knew what she was going to say to me. "Okay, so first thing's first, you are making great progress in your therapy and in taking your medication. I'm proud of you for taking the time to start the healing process. I need to discuss your treatment options from here on out because things have become tricky. I don't want this information to trigger a regression in your progress so I would like for someone to be with you at all times just to ensure that you don't self harm again. Valeria, you're pregnant." She stopped talking for a moment and I imagine it was so that I could take the information in and decide how I felt. 

On the contrary, I didn't feel anything. I wasn't happy. I wasn't sad. I just wasn't, well, anything. I felt nothing. I felt silent tears fall from my eyes and I didn't wipe them away. Dr. Kort looked at me with concern written all over her face. I looked at the door and I think she knew that this conversation was over. I tried to speak and for once words formed and left my lips, "Sergei." She nodded, leaving the room and sending Sergei in. I had to work up the courage to tell him why I had hurt myself in the first place. I needed him now more than ever.

"Valeria, what did she say to you? You've been crying, what happened?" He was worried about me, not caring that I had wanted space from physical contact, so he took his suit jacket off and climbed onto the other side of the bed, pulling me close to him. I felt the tears fall more freely and much more quickly than before. "Sweetheart, I need you to tell me what she said to you."

"Sergei..." a lump formed in my throat as I began to tell him, "the night...the night it happened. Ivan had hurt me and it was worse than he had ever hurt me before. I felt worthless and when I saw the razor blade I faded back into a reckless mindset that I hadn't been in since he had bought me from my father. I just wanted to forget what he had done and this was how I chose to try and do that."

"What do you mean he hurt you? What did he do to you?" His face had anger written all over it and I knew he was trying to reign it in but was struggling very hard.

"He forced himself on me and almost choked me to death." The tears were relentless as my voice cracked. He pulled me into his lap, stroking my hair, kissing my head, trying his best to comfort me. I breathed in his cologne and somehow my whole body relaxed as if it knew that I was safe and protected. "Dr. Kort...she told me that my treatment was going to become more of a process not because of my lack of progress, she said my progress was great, but because I'm pregnant." 

"I will support you in this however you would like to handle the situation. I will do whatever you want me to do, love. Just say the words and they will be done." He hugged me tightly.

"I don't know what to feel. I don't want his child. I have never wanted his child but this child is also mine. He or she is half of me too and I don't want to ever leave a child unwanted because of who his or her father might be. I was thinking about what my friend Jillian did. She was in a really bad position and she got pregnant by some deadbeat but then she found an awesome guy who cared about her. She never told the deadbeat that he was the father because the other guy told her that he would love the baby regardless." I paused my thoughts to gauge how Sergei was feeling.

"Go on..." He kissed my forehead.

"Well, I know that you have five children and that Amarissa is your wife. I don't want you to think that you have to do this because of me. I don't want you to do this unless you think that we can get away with it. You and Ivan look enough alike that they would believe that the child is yours. I don't want to throw away my child like my father threw me away. I suppose what I'm suggesting is that we raise this baby together." I felt him tense up. I knew he wouldn't like the idea and I should have just kept my mouth shut about it. I felt stupid for thinking that he cared enough about me to want to raise a child. I felt myself spiraling and Sergei felt it too.

"Valeria, people have relationships outside of their marriages in our world and it's normal to pursue a family with said person. Amarissa and I have a family because we were expected to and we are married because it was a major alliance that both of our families needed. I wouldn't be married if it had been my choice until the right person came along. Of course, I will raise this baby as my own. We won't tell anyone about what he did to you. We will stand together and this baby will be ours. Amarissa will understand and you know that she cares for you as family already. The boys have been asking for a sibling for sometime and Amarissa didn't want anymore so this will make everyone happy." He kissed my lips softly, lingering only for a moment.