Far from the shallow

it happened only two times

Flashback *four months before*

"AAAAAND CUT!"

Everyone starts clapping and screaming. This was it...This was the final scene we had to shoot.

I Can't believe this! Did we just...film a movie? Did I just star in a movie? Oh my god that's just....crazy! Bradley has done so much for me. He truly is an angel. Today there's a party for the whole cast and crew, since the shooting is over. I don't know what to wear yet...It has to be something more...I don't know...Gaga?

"Hey, Stefani!you wanna go together to the party today?"

"Uh...Yeah, sure!"

"I'll pick you up at 11." He smiled at me and hugged me. "And, hey...You were amazing in the scene. I couldn't have found a better star"

"You mean co-star" I smiled "It's all because of you and you know it! Thank you so much Bradley!" "Hey, don't cry now...We'll get drunk and cry later, right?" He always made me laugh. You know, it's so special when someone finally accepts me just like I am. Yes, I'm a drama queen, I know, but he likes that. I like that he likes that.

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I checked myself at the mirror one more time. Did I look good? Meh... ugh why do I want to impress him so much? It's not...right!

"You look absolutely gorgeous!" I jumped at the sound of Christian's voice. Damn, I used to have shivers every time he told me I looked beautiful. Now? I don't feel a thing... I smile at him "Thank you!" "You sure you don't want me to come with you"  Ugh there he goes again! He has to follow me everywhere! It's really frustrating. I mean, it was cute in the beginning, but now I just want to punch him in the face if he asks one ore time. I try to look calm though. I don't want another fight, not now at least."Christian, I told you it's a party for the crew. Irina won't be there, if that makes you feel better." Oh my god, what the fuck am I even saying? "why would that make me feel better? I-" suddenly I hear the doorbell, "Brad is here, I gotta go." I kiss him in the cheek for goodbye "See you tomorrow".

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-3 hours  and maaaany drinks later-

"Can you fucking believe this? It's fucking unbelievable! YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS"

"Shut up, You are a fucking genius" I start laughing and, to be honest, I don't have a clue why. I'm just happy I'm with him. He sees happy to be with me. I rest my forehead on his and smile "We're both amaaazing" He grins, not moving a bit. " Hey...do you wanna...go somewhere?There are many people here" "Like where?" "well, I don't know...Irina is not home...She went in her mother's with Lea for the weekend." "Uhm...yeah we could go I guess."  He takes my hand and drags me to his car.

"You're not driving this"

"Yeah, like YOU can!"

"My driver is here. He will take us" 

We get in the car holding hands.Oh my god let's hope that there are no paparazzis here.

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"I love your house! It's so warm and family-like." "Thanks...Irina decorated it. It's not really my style, but I have no say in this"

"I will take off my heels now, if you don't mind" I say while already taking them off. "You can take off whatever you like" He says with a grin. Well, that's...unexpected...Okay, who am I kidding? we both knew why we were here!

"Bradley, I-"

"Yeah, me too"

suddenly his tongue is in my mouth. Yeah, I like drunk Bradley. He's hot. "Hey hold up! You- You got a condom?" "uh wait...yeah, here it is" "Okay, continue now" I say smiling at him.

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"Oh my god OH MY GOD oh my god! BRADLEY WAKE UP!"

"What? what's wrong?" I look at him with the a<<re you fucking kidding>> look. "We fucked! That's what's wrong!" "Oh shit!...Did Irina see us?" Ouch...Well, that hurt. But of course, she's his girlfriend.  He doesn't want her to see us together...

"No...you said she'll be back tomorrow"I said while getting in my clothes "Oh, you're right." he said, obviously relieved, and honestly I don't know why I got mad. "Okay, I'm leaving, now." I said feeling like a whore. He didn't even- Ugh fuck this. "Hey wait! Stefani! I cannot chase you naked!" I was already out when I heard that.  Ugh, my driver is here since last night. Kill me. "Let's go home"

*End of flashback*

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I stand in my room starring at the pregnancy test. Yeah, he wore a condom then...So it's Christian's child? oh my god....

Tomorrow is the premiere. In three hours I have to leave, get in an airplane with my crash and and the mother of his child.

Oh shit! wait...That was- There was one more time...

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*Flashback 2 and a half months earlier*

"Stefani what the fuck are you doing?" "What do you want, Bradley? It's not your concern. Stay with your girlfriend and kid" "You know what I mean! You told me you can't stand him anymore and now you wanna marry him?" So, he's actually jealous, now? We've been very close the last months and...I can't stand seeing him with her. He loves her...So I thought to move on. Get over with it. Christian loves me. I can learn to love him again. He's gonna make me happy.

"Fuck off Bradley!" I turn to leave. "You're not fucking going anywhere!" We were locked in the toilet. Me and him. His girlfriend and Christian where somewhere outside.  He grabs my hand and I turn to face him. We are very close now. "What now Bradley? You will kiss me and we will be happily in love?! You know that's not going to fucking happen!" He swallowed and kept looking at me.  "You're right...But we have this moment. We can make the best out of it, right? It will never happen again" "Last time" "Last time." He says and after giving me a light kiss in the lips and the my jaw " And then we'll go to our families" I mumble while he's kissing my neck "uh huh" Suddenly he grabs my legs and I find myself sitting in the sink. His hand are all over my body and I'm un-zipping his pants...

*End of flashback*

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NOW...THAT'S fucked up....that's really fucked up. I have to talk to him.   I will talk to him tomorrow at Venice....The sooner the better...He has to help me. What if it's his child? To be honest....I don't even know if I want it to be Christian's child...