Far Too Young To Die // brallon

seven

Spencer's eyes widen when Brendon says those words, his heart sinking so low that it's worrying. 

"What? No, no, no, you should tell him."

"What? You told me not to," Brendon says, now confused. 

"I know, but I thought about what you said."

"And I thought about what you said. If I tell him that I love him then one way or another it'll make everything awkward. I mean, if he isn't okay with it, if he is okay with it, if it's mutual but we don't take it further, if we do take it further -- either way, someone is gonna feel awkward in the end. Plus, it'll break me, you said it yourself." 

Spencer internally curses himself for both saying that and telling Dallon. 

"I don't even think that I could tell him. No one knows this, but I tried to tell him a little while ago but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I ended up just getting drunk in the middle of the night and then I woke up wearing Dallon's sweater."

"But you love him, and he... and he should know!" 

"If I tell him then I'll not only be ruining me but the band. I can't do that to us," Brendon says. "I bet he'll do that thing he does where he just says 'I need to think', then thinks about it for a while and then he'll come back and say 'I'm sorry, I don't love you' because that's what always does. He always says he'll think about it, and that always means that he doesn't, he just wants to make it seem like you have a chance because he'd feel too guilty only saying no," Brendon explains. Spencer's heart sinks and breaks. Dallon's gonna reject him.

Brendon stands up with a sigh. 

"I think I just need to—"

"Dallon knows you cut," Spencer blurts out. Brendon stops and tenses, eyes filling with tears. He turns around to look at him.

"What...?"

Spencer stutters, then stands up.

"I'm so sorry, we were talking and it... it slipped out. He was saying how- no, wait, Brendon," Spencer says as Brendon begins to turn around. 

"Please, just... I don't wanna talk to you right now," Brendon says, voice quiet but breaking. Spencer's chest aches slightly as Brendon walks out of the room.