Redwitch Manor

Bleeding

I woke up on my bed, a large white bandage covering my stomach. I felt odd. I touched my stomach and realized it felt... empty? I noticed my bump had diminished in size. Had I really done it? Had I killed them? I looked around my room and found that I was alone. It disappointed me that I wasn't dead but it I was disgustingly delighted to find that I had succeeded in killing my unborn children. But the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I had taken three lives that weren't mine to take. I heard the doorknob shake so I closed my eyes and feigned sleep.

"I'm telling you, Lady Griffith, she's not mentally stable anymore. She should be in an asylum. She tried to kill herself!" I heard Doctor Johnson say. I gritted my teeth. I didn't need to be put in any mental institution. What I did need was no David in my life. He was my problem.

"No! She's perfectly sane. She knew it would be better to get rid of those illegitimate children so she could bare her own children from her real husband. Not that Richard bloke. Shedid us all a great favor." I clenched the sheets between my fist. I wish someone knew how I really felt. I so badly wished people asked how I actually felt.

"Yes but she may never be able to bare children again. Her womb has been severely damaged." I wanted to breathe a sigh of relief but two things stopped me, knowing that David would never let stop pestering me to bare his children and the fact that I was supposed to be sleeping.

"Well, I don't care. That'll be up for her and her husband to discuss. Tell me, how soon will she be able to be on her feet? Now that the pregnancy is out of the way we can plan this wedding much sooner." I knew at that moment that Doctor Johnson was shaking his head at my mother's ignorance.

"I suppose in three or two weeks she'll be close to full health. In a week would really be testing the faith and blessings of God. I know you'd like to hope that she'll be healthy as soon as possible but I don't think it would be plausible with her delicate health." I pretended like I started to stir. I was done with them talking like if I wasn't even there in the room. I pulled the blanket over my chest and attempted my most blank look, hoping they wouldn't figure that I was awake.

"Good morning, Mother." My voice was hoarse and dry. She immediately went towards my bed and sat right next of me. Behind her façade I could see legitimate concern laced behind her eyes. She gripped my hand.

"What do you think you were doing, pulling a trick like that? I already lost your father, why would you try to leave me too?" Her voice was trembling. Suddenly I felt so selfish. The memory and pain of my father's death returned. But I'd still hold my ground. I wanted her to understand why I did this.

"I'm sorry but I can't live like this! How many times do I have to tell you: I don't want to marry Sir David. I don't want to have his children! I don't want to be with him. He's the one who pushed me down the stairs! He's dangerous, Mother!" My mother didn't move. She looked me over.

"There's nothing we can do about his temper. Doctor Johnson, you can be dismissed for now. I'll call you back in when we're ready." Once he left I decided to seize the silence to talk.

"Can you let go of your pride for once, Mother? We don't need our name when we have money! We don't need any of this! All of this is in vain!" I screamed.

"The thing is, love," Her voice was lower than a whisper, "We don't have our money anymore. I need you to marry him because he's a Marquess. Our money will be restored. All we have now is our name! We can't lose that too." I fell back on my pillow trying to grasp what I just I heard. "You see how important this is for us? You must marry him."

"How long have you known?" I hissed back at her. "How long have you known we were in ruin?" She hung her head down.

"About a fortnight after David came with the offer. At first my reasons were straight, the reason why I wanted you to marry him. I believed I was actually salvaging our name. But after I learned about our money I knew I had to have you marry him or else," she paused and wiped an invisible tear from her eye, "Or else we'd become poor and I can't have that. I won't have that." It took all of me not to strangle her for her selfish reasoning.