Nightly Thoughts

Night of the 27th of February

(Hi, I'm sorry I haven't uploaded on "Nightly Thoughts")

     I've been thinking a lot. Night's aren't my thing, but lately when I think at night. I get way into deep in thought that I forget that I'm even living. Have you ever thought for so long that you forget everything? Lose all feeling in your body? 

     If I had an undo button. I'd use it only one thing and that will be when I was born. I would reset my whole life. Make myself better. Just make me different from right now. People can change, but it's hard to. Do you know? Someone can't change overnight. When I was with my parents. I always asked if we can go to a different school. Just to have a restart on me, but it only made it worse. It made me isolated from everyone. Missing everyone that I met. I never knew meeting someone and forgetting about them would hurt. I'm at a new school. Well, I'm in 7th grade now, but I went here in 6th grade and I wanted people to like me, but sometimes those words that you say can have a lot of consequences. The middle school... I met a girl. I've mentioned her before. Jenna or Raspberry. (A new nickname that I just created.) She was sitting at a table with this other girl. After a while, I found out her name was Elizabeth. When I saw her I'm like you know what? Let's do this. I got this. There's no going back. When I sat down she looked at me and my first thing to do was say, "Hi" She as well said, "Hi" We sat there and I asked her, "What's your name?" She said, "Jenna," Then it was silent for a while then when it got too awkward. I said, "Well, Jenna. I'm Gabby and it's nice to meet you," She said, "Yeah. Nice to meet you too," The teacher passed out a paper and on the back of it Jenna started to draw. Then, that's when I found out how she is. She's like me, but a little bit more pessimistic and skinner. She's really skinny now which I'm really jealous of.

     Picklehead he's stressed out and part of it is because of me. I know I can be a pain, but when someone is down all I want to do is help them. If I don't then, I feel awful. I deleted Picklehead off of my contacts. I'm just gonna ignore him for the longest time. 

See, all the relationship that I've ever loved, 

It starts when someone says...

Show me where it hurts, and give me something real,

And lead me to a part of you that never really heals,

And say the words that burn, 

When they leave your mouth, tell me your story,

But don't leave the good parts out, 

     This song makes me wanna cry so much. My mom says that I'd be a good person when I'm older. I ain't good. I'm awful. I'm such a b*tch it's crazy. I'm never really interested in things. I just lie and say sure I'll go because I don't wanna seem depressed. I'm also being made to go and do things. And when I do them. They aren't as fun as they sound. Well, this night on February 27th is going to be at an end. 

Signing off  Gabs