"I'm Fine" TordTom//TomTord

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it's been, at least I want to say 10 years since everything happened. me and Tord are now happily married.. he's got a whole lot more softer than he used to be.

Part of me somewhat misses his aggressive side. Being beat up everyday kind of felt nice, but it's also nice to not get hurt anymore.. at least not by other people of course.

Yes, I know, I'm like 37 years old but that's okay. I lost my sight and I have to wear these goggle things that Tord made me. It's not all that bad wearing them, they have night vision in a few other things that help a lot whenever it comes down to going on missions with the red army, the army in which Tord runs.

I feel special for some reason. I think it might be because I'm married to the most powerful man on Earth who has the most powerful army. Or it might be because I haven't killed myself yet. And I mean yet.

Today is going to be the last day I'm here. I'ma miss everything and everyone, but if they love me they'll understand and let me go.

But if you really think about it, it's someone's depressed, and if they want to leave all because they feel like they're just a waste of space, shouldn't you let them leave? why would you make them sit and suffer through this world when they so desperately want to leave?

I don't think anyone's actually sat down and thought about things.. what would people actually do if I actually did leave? Would they miss me? Would they cry over me? Would they sit at my grave and sorry everyday? Would they feel as if it's their fault and they should've done better?

imma be honest, I don't want to be buried in a grave. I don't want a tombstone with my name on it and my birth year and my death date. I want to be put in a little heart locket, that my love can carry around. I want to be with him even if I'm dead. I don't want people to cry over my grave, I don't want people to act like they're actually sorry for me when they're not.

I know how this cruel world works. people are going to act like they love you, people are going to act like they care for you, people are going to act like they'll care if you actually do kill yourself. Even if they don't. Even if they absolutely hate your guts, they will act like they like you. They will act like they love you. but when you actually leave they're not going to care about you. You're going to act like you don't exist. They're going to go along with their lives and act like they never met you. if someone goes up to them and ask them if they know who you are they're going to say no, you're just going to disappear and no one will know.

So today is today I'm actually going to bring myself to do it. I'mma put a gun to my head, and I'm going to pull the trigger, and I'm going to wait. I'm going to see how many people actually run into the room to see if I'm alive or not.

Maybe I will be dead. Maybe I'll live. Maybe I didn't even shoot myself. Only God knows what's going to happen. I'm being serious I'll miss everyone. Even if you think I won't I will..

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Some time passed. Only like an hour. Tord was walking around doing his regular checks, making sure his soldiers were doing what they needed to be doing. But then..
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Everything stopped. His breathing. His sight. His touch. He dropped everything and stood there, frozen, in place. Tord couldn't move.

Did he just here what he thinks he did..? Was that really a gun shot from Tom's room?

Tord had already began to cry just from hearing the shot. He knew his love was still depressed. He knew Tom needed help. But he didn't know Tom would do this...

For fucks sake.. he thought things were getting better. Tom was eating again. He was on a one year no cut streak. Life was beginning to look perfect.

They were even thinking about adopting a kid. But all of that was gone. Because of one gun.

Tord rushed to the smaller male's room. Pushing soldiers out of the way. He ran to the others room as fast as he could, not caring what anyone said.

He kicked the door down and froze at the sight of Tom. Tord broke down and began to cry as he looked at his husband he thought was getting better.

The red man rushed over to Tom and fell onto his knees next to the small boy, he gently cupped Tom's cheeks as he began to cry and place his forehead on Tom's.

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The small boy hugged onto Tord and hid his face in the tallers chest as he sobbed. Both of the men crying into each other.

Tom had tried to kill himself but missed while shooting his head. It was on purpose. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't bring himself to leave the ones you left behind.

So he decided he was going to stay. he was going to grow old with his lover, he's going to have kids with his lover, he was going to become a grandfather with his lover. And nothing was stopping him.

Tord held onto Tom tightly, nuzzling into the smaller's neck as he said soft, quiet, sweet things into the terrified boy's ear, trying to calm him down from everything.

Tom's breathing was heavy. He could bare to do or say anything. But he was happy to be in Tord's arms. He curled up a bit. Enjoying the warmth from the other.

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a few weeks passed after the whole gun incident. Me and Tord adopted a beautiful baby girl, we named her HoneyBee.

She's only a month old and she's adorable. Me and my lover have already fallin in love with her.

we haven't brought up the fact that I tried to kill myself at all since the accident.. but I have gotten better. I'm happy now, even without my pills. I have my baby girl to keep me smiling, I have my husband to always be there for me, and I have other soldiers, from other armies, to torture when I'm feeling down.

What more can I ask for? I'm living a happy life now.
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The end.
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I started crying while writing this :,)
Hhhhhhhh I love how the ending turned out. I might make another update... The next one would probably be Tom's suicide note but that's only if y'all wanna see it.
Anyways this was extremely sad and I fucking cried, not gonna lie.

This also may or may not have some of my venting in it ^^;
I saw so many spelling errors and I went back and fixed a few- sorry

1177 words

~♥¡Love you all, bye!♥~