Marshall

One

The silver Toyota Camry came to a halt in the drop off lane in the front of the massive school. I took a deep breath and peaked up at the intimidating blue letters that spelled out 'Eiling High school'. Then I dropped my eyes down to the mocha colored hand that rested on top of my lighter, caramel toned one. My mother gave it a reassuring squeeze and I looked up at her, my nerves eating at me as we stared at each other.

"It's just school baby girl, it's not like I'm sending you to your execution." She said softly, trying to soften the mood. I let out a small chuckle, although the joke wasn't at all in anyway funny, I laughed. She gazed at me sympathetically, my lungs constricting and my heart pounding in my chest.I guess she was right. It was my first day of school, not my first day of prison. You'd think it was the same thing though, just by the fearful look I was sure shined in my eyes.

I'd always hated new places and starting new schools, and up until two weeks ago I'd lived in one solid place for a solid five years. But now? Now my grandfather was dead, my cousin was in prison and my mother had a perfect new job working for the rival company of my father. The move we had undergone was a much needed escape at my expence. But I was happy to take the rough weeks of readjustment and tenfold anxiety for the ease of my grandmother and mother.

I examined the mass of students entering the school building and took another deep breath. My mother gave me another tight squeeze." I can go in with you CeeCee." My mother said and I shook my head as I heard the school bell ring loudly. More students began to file into the building. "Look, honey I know that this move has been hard for you and I'm really-"

"No." I interrupted, looking from the bodies of students walking. They looked at the car, as if they were searching for me. As if they knew I was new and didn't belong. My mother raised an eyebrow, and I shook my head looking down.

My mother had the tendency to want to protect and though I appreciated her maternal instinct to take care of her only child,sometimes I needed air. Over the past few years she's had due cause to be that way. What with all of the drastic life changes that had warped our family, the few stints I pulled to land myself in the hospital, the woman had every right to worry. She had every right to worry and hover and be concerned with me, but sometimes I felt like I was becoming too dependent on her. With being in my senior year, I didn't want my mother to have to take care of me. Not in any way.

I wasn't complaining I just needed to find a way to let go and do things on my own, ya' know? Find my way.

"No?" She asked." Maybe I could just pop in...make sure you got to your classes all figured out. I know how stressed you get when things aren't-"

"Momma." I stopped her, squeezing her hand. Her dark brown eyes looked at me sadly and I gave her a reassuring smile." I can do this, get to work." I said and began to gather my things. She sighed, watching me.

"Well have a good day honey, be careful. Deep breaths and don't forget to smile!" She said as I climbed out from the passengers side. I crouched down to get one last look at her beautiful mocha brown face. She gave me a big smile, the worry glistening in her eyes. " I love you sweet girl." She said and I smiled back, a real small smile that let her know I was getting what she was asking of me. Though I always smiled, even when I didn't want to.

"I love you mom." I said and then shut the door to her car., watching as she drove away to clear the morning drop-off lane.

***

"Alright Ms. Arling. Here is your map, your schedule and your locker combination. It is not mandatory to have a locker but most students do choose to use one." My counselor, Mrs. Lancing stated. I nodded, taking the manila folder her pale bony hand offered me.