“So Iris, I guess your parents liked their classics”, Iris’s psychiatrist said smiling.
His jokes were so lame, they started the minute she walked in. She had been assigned to this man twice a week for the upcoming months.
“Yeah, I guess so”, she answered dismissively.
“My name is Isa Knight, you can choose whether you call me Mr Knight or just Isa.” She smiled inwardly at his silliness. “Alright, Isa.”
“Now, what do you expect from these sessions?” He folded his arms, watching her carefully. She looked at her feet frowning. What did he want her to say, she just wanted these sessions to be over. “I want to be at ease with my thoughts, maybe try to work out whatever troubles that got me here in the first place. Because I actually don’t need all of this but if it will get me to be comfortable with myself that it’s all good”, she said lying straight through her teeth while looking at him.
His brown eyes kept staring at her while she hoped her answer was satisfying. Iris knew from experience that if you behaved like they wanted you to, all things would get easier and then maybe her aunt would lessen these sessions.
“Stop trying to give me the answers I ‘want’ to hear”, Isa said seriously. Iris took a sharp intake of breath. This one is not easy to fool, she thought. “I’m not.” He nodded and wrote something down like he had these conversations so many times with other patients. Why was he writing something down? Keep your cool Iris.
She looked at what he was wearing, black jeans and a checked blue button-up. Reading glasses were resting on his nose. She would have guessed that he was only in his twenties. Isa had a light stubble and his black hair was brushed to one side. His warm brown eyes looked up again. “Let’s just talk about basic things; age, likes and dislikes etc.” he explained.
Iris frowned but quickly slipped her blank expression back on. “Right, but I guess it would be only fair if I could ask you questions back, isn’t it Isa?”, she said cocking her head. Isa smiled: “Of course”. “I’m eighteen” she replied. “I’m twenty-four, what are you studying?” “I just got out of high school but I’m not sure about college yet” she mumbled. “How come?”
Iris tried forming a decent reply in her head. “I’m keeping all options open”, she finally said. “What was your favourite subject in high school?” “Art”, Iris answered immediately without giving it a second thought. Isa grinned at her slip-up. “Art”, he stated “like painting or drawing?” “Both”, she said quietly. He hummed: “Do you draw or paint?”. She sighed while rubbing her head and nodded. “Yeah, sometimes.”
“I would be happy to be granted the pleasure of looking at your art sometime”, he said leaning on his desk that was slightly separating them. “It’s not that good ”, she said. “Whoever told you that nonsense?” he said disbelievingly. “My mother”, she blurted out. Iris covered her mouth with her hands, like she could try to take her words back.
“It’s not that, … I mean … No…” She closed her eyes, oh Iris you’re messing up. Ten minutes with a psychiatrist and you’re already spilling, she ranted to herself. Man up, don’t feel too comfortable around his soothing voice and those trusting eyes. His eyebrows shot op, not expecting her answer but slipping back in his professional mask. “Listen to me Iris”, he said.
The way he said her name, like a whisper, made her look up. “People want to see you do good but never better than them. Remember that.” He stated seriously. Then a smile broke out on his face. “What kind of music do you listen to Iris”, he said. His questions were really giving her whiplash. Wasn’t he going to ask her more about her mother? Wasn’t that where these sessions were about?
Iris gave him a lame smile; “Many artists, like you already gave away, The Goo Goo dolls are on the top of my ranking.”
Isa let out another laugh, sounding quite pleasant. His eyes scanned her once over, he couldn’t help but notice Iris was a beautiful young woman. When she had walked in, he did a little double take. Straight black hair, a petite form and her eyes … Green, forest green to be exact. But at times she would downcast them while he wanted her to only look up. Focus Isa, only ten minutes left. She made the same lame joke that he used which was rather cute on her behalf.
Back to being professional Isa. “Now what I want to accomplish with these sessions is that you’d learn to trust me. Because everything that will be said between you and I, will stay between the two of us.”
Iris nodded with that blank look again, which he already despised. “I mean it Iris.” Iris he repeated again in his head. She looked up, straight into his eyes. “Why did you became a psychiatrist,” she asked. “What goes on in one’s mind is far more beautiful than anything an image will ever be able to display,” he answered confidently.
Iris looked stunned: “Nice answer.” He grinned. “I know, what do you want to be when you grow older”, he asked. Iris smiled a soft smile. “I want to be me, I want to be just me.” Isa kept her gaze for a minute until she gazed at her watch.
“Session’s over Isa, see you Sunday”, she said. Isa watched how she graciously took off. “Have a nice week, and oh bring some of your art for the next session?” he requested. She nodded dismissively.
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It has been a while but I decided to start writing again.
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