Stained +GLAKE+

Five: Lie to the truth

Me and Oma sit down in silence in the corner of our business class. I see Blake walking to the class but look in the opposite direction.
"Oma", I whisper, "why didn't you tell us she treats you like this?"
"They all do. The reason I didn't tell is that there are so many of them and so little of us..."
I shake my head. "You shouldn't need to think like that."
"You definitely shouldn't Oma", Reid says from behind us. "I just wish I could kick those sweet asses."
"Reid, that's very graphic."
"Well it's true."

Suddenly the teacher coughs and I realise the lesson has already started.
"Yes, Reid? Would you like to share your statement to the entire class?"
"No, Mr. Pohijinski."
"Good. We shall get on then."
We do notes for a good 15 minutes but after that he sets us an essay-assignment and we're allowed to start working on them now.
As soon as Mr. Pohijinski stops talking, I turn to Oma.
"How are you feeling?"
"Quite good thanks. I'm listening to music now so better."
She smiles and shows me her phone screen.

"That song is really sad, but sure", I say.
She just smiles and puts her headphones back on.
I just sigh and put my headphones on as well. My playlist plays Somebody Else by The 1975 and I slowly nod to the rhythm.
I try to focus on the paper but I get constantly distracted by Blake and one of the guys in his friend group, laughing really loudly.

I turn my volume up.

Well I can't hear them anymore but I can't hear my thoughts either.

I turn it back down and admit my defeat.

Then I notice something from the corner of my eye that gets me to look over properly.
No way? They're sitting on a table and making out. Well looking closer, they're just faking it, but why..?
"AH I'M SO GAY!" The other Guy, Ryan, yells.
"I'M SO QUEER AND OPEN ABOUT IT!"
"Fucking gay-asses, you should be executed", Frederika yells and laughs like it's the funniest thing ever.
I feel my hand turn into a fist. Do they really think that any of that's funny? Do they have any idea how much the people who are actually queer go trough because of opinions like that? Fucking IDIOTS!

Before I've actually even thought it trough, I stand up and leave the classroom, almost running. I slow down my steps when I get around the corner and make sure that no one is around. Then I sit on the floor against the wall and try to breathe.
How did I get such a rush so suddenly?
I think that seeing Blake there made the trigger even bigger. After all, I really do like him as a person (plus he's my crush so like -) and he's not someone you'd expect that from.
Maybe that's why I took it personally.
"It wasn't about you, idiot", I nag to myself quietly.
But then I realise that my main trigger was probably, that he just let me know he wasn't gay.
Expected, but still depressing.

I'm just about to stand up, when I hear someone call my name.
"George! Are you there?"
I freeze and try to think whether to reply or not.
"Yeah, right here."
I see that they come closer and then come stand right next to me.
It's Blake. How amazing.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine, not that it's one of your concerns..."

He slides down to sit next to me.
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because I'm not your friend."
"Ouch", he laughs and fixes his hair kinda embarrassedly.
"I'm sorry", I say kinda blankly. "I didn't mean to sound hollow, but we don't really know each other so I just find it kind of weird that you would care."
This is going just great already. I've screwed it up completely. But in my surprise, he just smiles.
"No, that's totally sensible of you. The only reason I came was to ask if what my", he hesitated for a moment just long enough for it to be obvious, "...friends said made you uncomfortable."

Okay, so now this can go one of two ways, I think. I really don't have the time to plan, so I just go with my gut.
"It did. It made me feel really angry, because real people out there actually think queers should be killed and it just made me kind of upset."
He was looking into my eyes, but now he looked away. "Oh God, I'm actually so sorry. That was so stupid of", again he stopped for some reason, "them, or, us."
"I'm just glad you see that it was inappropriate."
"I do", he says and moves his leg so it touches mine. I know that it's probably an accident, but I feel really warm anyway.

"Look", he finally bursts after a silent moment. "I know how offensive gay jokes can be, honestly I get you. I just hope you don't give me a bad person-mark."
I laugh a bit.
"Of course not."
He smiles and changes his position a bit so that he can look at me in the eyes.
"Look, George. I'm gay."
I just sit silently unknowing of what to say.
My brain keeps yelling YES!!! HE'S GAY Y'ALL! into my ear which is kinda distracting.
"I don't know why you'd ever need to know that but I had to say it out loud."
I just nod.
"In that case, I really don't understand why you'd hang out with those people."

"They're honestly not that bad. I just don't want to make myself obvious by asking them to knock it off."
"I get it."
We both smile and he looks into my eyes with his big, brown eyes. He tilts his head a bit and I'm trying my very hardest not to blush or to blurt out something awkward to ruin this perfect moment.
"You're making yourself pretty obvious by staring", I say after thinking for a while.
He laughs again and I swear I wish I could just listen to him laugh forever.
"If I were you I'd take that as a compliment."

Wait, did he just say that?
My crush?
"No, I'm joking. I was just thinking, sorry if that seemed weird."
He stands up slowly and offers me his hand.
"YOU seem weird", I say and smile.
He lets go of my hand instantly which makes me kinda disappointed.
"We should go see if Mr. Pohijinski has sent the national guard after us."
I nod and start walking ahead.
"Thanks for the chat though, Blake. Very nice of you."
"It was my plea-"
"BLAKE, GEORGE! IN HERE NOW!"
Blake makes a face. "Here we go."