Losing my grandmother

Where it started

On February 20th 2019 at 1:24 am, I lost the strongest woman I have ever known and I'll miss her dearly.....

Months prior to my grandmothers passing, she started developing trouble with her breathing. She did not have asthma nor had she ever had problems with her breathing before. I lived right across the street from her for 7 years so I made it a habit to go over her house as much as possible when I wasn't over my mother's house. I would always ask my dad if I could go across the street to see her or sometimes she would call me and ask me to come over. We were very close, I was her youngest grandchild out of 10 and the only one who spent time with her every week. I did whatever she asked of me and came over whenever she called. I can't lie, sometimes I wouldn't have time to help her when she called, but I always made it up to her. Every time I went over and she was in the house, I would sit on the arm of her couch while she sat in her LAZY BOY chair and we would talk about everything and watch tv for hours until I went home...she was my best friend.

Every time we talked, we asked each other how we were doing and one day she started saying that she was having trouble breathing and whenever she would do anything she would get light-headed and dizzy. She set a doctors appointment up and she only told me what she wanted me to know but they prescribed her some medicine and an inhaler which looks different than the one you typically see. When I would ask her how the medication was helping her she said she was feeling better and that it was helping, believed her. A month or two go by and the medication was not helping like it was before and she started feeling worse again so she went back to her doctor and they amped up her inhaler but no improvement was made. She told me the doctors were doing test and that she would get the results back in a week and then in another week and another week. She never told me, my dad, or my aunt and uncles what the doctor said because she did not want us to know or worry about her. Now months have gone by and she stopped going to church, she stopped going to the store with my stepmom, she was tired and stopped doing everything she loved. I.....didn't look more into it than I should have....I didn't see the warning signs, no one did.

At this point the only thing she spent her time doing was watching tv, sleeping, and fixing food for my grandfather who is ten years older than her, he can't do much. Everything she did was draining the life out of her and I didn't comprehend that. When I use to ask her how she was doing she always said "I'm doing fairly well" but one time I asked her she said she wasn't doing good and she never said that before and she started saying it to everyone. She didn't even have enough energy to come across the street for our Christmas Eve party. In January she asked my dad on Friday to take her to the emergency room the next morning on Saturday because she felt so awful. She should have gone Friday but she wanted to make sure my grandfather was fed and in bed first. For an old man who had nothing to do, he would eat and sleep all day and go to bed at midnight and she always waited up for him.

The next day my dad and I woke up and he got dressed, so did I, he called my grandmother and she didn't pick up so he called her again. Still not answer so he called her again. She still didn't pick up, he called about 3 more times then headed over. I wanted to go over too but he was in the bathroom so I just waited for him to come back and get the car. I waited and waited then I started to worry about what was taking him so long. I started to hear an ambulance and hoped it wasn't for her and it thankfully was not though we were still taking her to the hospital. The suspense of waiting so long prompted me to call my dad and see what was up then I came over. She was fine but she was sitting on the steps and couldn't get up but she was leaving out that way anyway. My dad went to get his car after I came over and my uncle showed up. I have to get my grandmother's hat and coat and I had to put her shoes on then my uncle and my dad had to work together to put her in the car. Fast forward she was admitted into the hospital and we thought she wouldn't be in there too long.

Her doctor told us something was wrong with her heart and her kidneys but she was not at kidney failure yet. I only got to see her maybe once a week but I honestly wish I was able to see her more durning that time. A few days in the hospital they sent her to a nursing home for therapy that wasn't useful considering how bad she was. She started getting confused and I witnessed it once and it scared me because she never forgot anything, that wasn't the woman I knew and loved. She thought I had braided her hair but I hadn't seen her in a week, I thought she forgot who I was and it hurt my heart. I told her I didn't do her hair and she said "Yes you did." I was so shocked because how could this happen to her but then she did end up remembering that my cousin did her hair but that did not change the fact that she still forgot. The next time I saw her and the last time I saw her awake she was acting like my grandmother. When I left that day I hugged her....I didn't know that was the last day I'd get to do that.