The start

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It all started when I joined the youtube community in 2012. I wasn't a big youtuber and only made videos for fun. I had free time, I had a girlfriend, I lived in the cabin in the woods with my family.

I met a creator by the name of Damien, he was hot. I talked to him and went to panels with him at conventions, that seemed to grow my popularity, that made me get to be invited to more conventions. The cycle repeated itself and before I knew it I had a fan base. Before I knew that Damien was into me I had been lost, then he asked me out.

That relationship turned into something more, or ship name were Shamien, Dan, yeah I know Dan sounds stupid and more like a regular name but it was easier saying Dan than Shamien. We announced our relationship to our fans on April 22nd 2016, some were supportive that we were both males, others were not but those who didn't support us can either fuck off or suck a dick. Damien proposed to me February 22nd 2018 and we would later get married in January 2020, things were climbing up.

We were a happy family until we weren't, Damien had been suffering from headaches that couldn't be relieved, we didn't think anything of it until he colapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital, the doctor told us that he had a rare type of brain tomour and that he probably wouldn't live past 6 months, we didn't get much sleep that night. "How could this happen?" I kept asking myself that as I stared at my bedroom wall in my husbands embrace, we had a family, one little girl, one baby boy, and another one of the way, we were adopting a child from a surrogate, I thought of all of these things before I drifted off into a nighmare filled sleep.

Damien died of his brain cancer on the 23 of November, the week after the surrogate delivered our child, I had to explain death to our children while they could barely understand their abc's. His funeral was held on December 11th, I attended and spoke. After the funeral I went back home and went through Damiens things, I found a video
"Sean, if you are watching this then that means that I am dead or you just went snooping around in my shit, I just wanted to tell you that if I did die that you should move on without me, find someone to help you with our wonderful children. Whatever you do, do not quit youtube, I know it may be hard but please, just because I am gone does not mean that you have to leave with me. I love you Sean, and I love our kids."

I cried.

After his death I couldn't pay for the house that we were staying in so we had to move and sell the house. I moved back to Ireland and started teaching our kids Irish, we stayed in the family cabin. I thought everything would be okay until one night a robber broke into my house and destroyed everything. When I went to check on my kids I saw that they were gone, I went downstairs and saw them sitting at the table, I went over to the table and took a closer look at them. They were dead, stabbed in the head. After that I sold the cabin and lived in the city, I was walking down the street one day when I was pulled into and alleyway, I was beaten then shoved to the ground, that's when it all went black.

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