A Reason to Breathe

A Reason to Breathe, Chapter 1

His sister Katy wore an odd expression, sitting at the kitchen table alone, staring at seven papers. She'd ripped the staple out of them, and it now lay on the table beside an almost empty bowl with a spoon sticking out. There was milk spilled beside it. How could she not see that? It was so close to her arm that if she moved, it would be in the milk, and that wouldn't be good because then she'd have to change her shirt, which was already wrinkled.

"Why are you standing behind me, Trevor?" She didn't look up right away, but he watched as she put down the papers, scattering them on the table in a mess instead of straightening them in a pile. He could see the milk still there. She was about to put her arm in it as she rested it on the table and turned to face him.

"Aren't you going to clean that up?" he said. He had on his favorite jeans, black ones, and his favorite black superhero shirt, Captain America. Katy was wearing a faded orange shirt with lines and squiggles. He didn't like the lines and squiggles, and the color orange was annoying. It was the one shirt he wished she'd put in the garbage. Maybe he'd do it for her.

"Trevor, seriously, dude, you need to get a life. Aren't you supposed to be out helping Dad today with the cows or something?"

Katy pushed the papers aside and scraped back her chair, then picked up her bowl and put it in the dishwasher. She left the spilled milk and the papers, and he cleared his throat before he felt her hand on his shoulder. He had to force himself to look her way, knowing she'd stay there until he did. His mom and dad, Katy, Steven, and his sister Becky always said over and over for him to look at them, and it was frankly annoying. Right now there was a thread hanging off her shirt sleeve that she also needed to take care of.

"Trevor, you didn't answer me, and you're doing that throat-clearing thing again that's really annoying. Did you eat breakfast yet? What are you doing today?"

Her shirt collar was folded correctly on one side but sticking up on the other. He reached over and grabbed the edge of her collar and unfolded it so it sat perfectly just like the other side. "I'm working today," he said.

He realized Katy was frowning now. Why? Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. At least she wasn't sad anymore.

"Did you seriously just fix my collar?" she said. She didn't say thank you. She really should say thank you.

"You look better now, but I don't like your shirt. You should change. It's ugly."

She just shook her head. "Seriously, Trevor. Tell me how you really feel."

Well, he didn't like it. He'd just told her that. Maybe she hadn't heard him. Then she reached over and rustled his dark hair, which was short and neatly combed.

"Hey," he said, and all she did was laugh as if it was funny before she walked around him and picked up the papers in one hand so they were crumpled, not even taking the time to tidy them up so they were neat and together. He reached up and tidied his hair, but he was going to have to go back upstairs to fix it properly.

"Where are you working?" Katy said. "Is this the job Mom and Dad were talking about?" She wasn't looking at him anymore but at those papers again. He wished she'd straighten them instead of holding them in the mess they were in. "Trevor, I asked you a question."

About what again?

"Huh?" he said, smoothing his hand over his hair.

She tapped her fingers on the counter. "The job, Trevor. Tell me where you're working today and what you're doing."

"The grocery store. I'm working in the bakery department. I get to package cookies, make boxes..." And the broken ones he got to put aside and eat later, but he wasn't going to share that part. That was enough sharing—especially since she was ignoring the mess on the table. He walked to the sink, picked up the sponge, and strode to the table to wipe the spot of milk, and then there were the crumbs.

"Mister OCD," she said. "Seriously, Trevor?"

He took in his sister and his mom, who appeared distracted as she walked into the kitchen, poured a coffee, and looked from him to Katy.

"What's going on?" Emily asked. She was looking at Katy, so maybe he could leave now and fix his hair and then read the new Adventures of Tintin book he'd picked up at the library yesterday.

"Just Trevor being Trevor, the neat freak," Katy said.

"No, I'm not," he said. He couldn't figure out why she was smiling and what the exchange was between her and their mom.

"Don't worry about it, Trevor. I'm just teasing you. What time do you have to leave for work?" Katy folded the papers, and his eyes went right there, seeing how uneven they were.

He glanced to the clock on the stove, seeing it was eight thirty-three.

"You start at nine, Trevor," his mom said. "Are you ready to go? I'll drive you to work, and don't forget Uncle Neil is picking you up today. You and him are going to..."

He knew his mom was still talking, but he didn't hear her as he took in the coffee she'd poured and the fridge she'd opened to pull out leftover ribs. Ah...that was what he should've packed. Ribs would be a great lunch instead of the tuna salad he'd made.

He heard the back door slap closed and saw his dad, who went right to his mom and leaned down and kissed her. She smiled and was happy. His dad always made her happy. He turned away, seeing that Katy was watching him again, and it made him twitchy when she looked at him that way. She was doing that a lot as of late. He took a step to the side, then turned and started walking to the stairs to fix his hair, read, and then...

"Trevor, answer me. Did you not hear me?" Emily said.

He took in his mom and dad watching him, and Katy too, who was giving him that annoyed big sister look she often did. He hadn't heard a word they'd said.

"Good, I'm good," he said, knowing it was likely they'd asked him how he was. If not, their faces would give him a clue in about a minute, and he'd use his other answer, which was "Time to go."

"You were off in your head, so try again," Emily said. "What are you supposed to be doing at work today? Are you allowed to be slow and take your time?"

His dad was giving him that hard gaze, but at least his dad didn't talk as much as his mom and sister did, and then there was Becky. Jack was even better, as he said even less, just things like "Move over, my turn with the remote." Yeah, Jack was better than all of them. He and his brother could share space, enjoy a game, and...

"Nope, I'll be fast," he said. "Okay, time to go. Bye, Dad. Bye, Katy. Come on, Mom." He started walking out of the kitchen, seeing his backpack at the front door, where he'd already packed his lunch, and he stopped at the mirror to see that his hair was still a ruffled mess. He used his fingers to tidy it to the side again.

"Change of plans, Trevor." Katy walked up beside him and slapped his shoulder. Her shirt was hanging over her jeans in a messy look. She never tucked it in. She was carrying her baggy purse, the one with fringes on the side that were too long and needed to be cut back. "I'm driving you."

"What? No," he said, seeing that his mom and dad weren't there anymore, but Katy was. The smile on her face as she stood right in front of him had him wanting to take a step back, because she was worse than his mom—nagging, talking to him, and making him talk about the sequence of his day as if he didn't know what he was doing. He couldn't just do what he wanted to do.

"Mom...!" he called out.

"Go with Katy," Emily replied from the kitchen. She didn't appear in the doorway, so that was that.

"Fine," he said, and he pushed open the door and walked over to her Jeep before climbing into the passenger side, closing the door, and fastening his seatbelt. He settled his backpack in the back seat as he waited for his sister.