She made me do it

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝘄𝗼: 𝗗𝗮𝘆𝗻𝗮 𝗗𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘀

As he was cleaning up the coffee he just spilled, I had a chance to look at him undisturbed. I mean, I could really look at him. He was tall, had a fade with long kinky hair defying gravity, was buffed but not too buffed; just enough so I'd feel protected, had flawless skin in the shade of roasted coffee beans and his ͏͏s͏m͏i͏l͏e... His smile used to be my favorite thing to look at in high school. This used-to-be American football player still looks the part. 

In high school, he never acted like the typical jock. The only thing 'jock-y' about him was the fact that he dated a cheerleader and like the amazing guy he is, he is still with her. Lucky her. They seemed picture perfect together. They used to be cute in high school but transformed into the slightly more 'h͏o͏o͏d' version of the Obama's. I saw that on his Facebook when I googled his name. One of the multiple times I googled his name.

He clears his throat, which snapped me out of my daydream. "𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑦, 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑓𝑓 𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑑. 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛, ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟? 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑛!" he said slightly annoyed. Aw, he cares... I knew he would. I looked at my own reflection in the mirror to my right. I prepared for hours before I came to this appointment, just in case... I'm glad to see my 4 hour visit to the beauty salon and the kidney I nearly sold for these pair of shoes, paid off. When I looked back at him, I caught him staring at me. Trying to figure something out. Probably why he never paid attention to me before. If I knew I could demand his attention by dressing classy but provocatively, I would've done this a long time ago. "𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑛, 𝑚𝑦 ℎ𝑢𝑠𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑑" I explained. "𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑛𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑦. 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑢𝑝?" he replied as he looked for any sign of me hurting. I wasn't really hurting but he clearly likes his damsels in slight distress, so I gave him what he wanted and turned on the waterworks. He immediately stood up, sat on his desk across from me and handed me a tissue. I dabbed away my fake tears as I made sure to throw in some hiccups in between the tears, so it seems like I'm truly affected by this shit. I'm not. I couldn't really care. I married for the status and money. 𝙳𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚛𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 '𝚒𝚝' 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎. He's always been 'him', 'it', my prince charming, the love of my life, my soul mate and my long time imaginary husband but he's always been so close yet so far away. Our conversations were always shallow but now, now he's sitting inches away from me. I can even smell him, the aroma of east African blend of coffee, honey and cinnamon. He puts an hand on the hand I'm not dabbing my fraudulent tears with and I feel a jolt of electricity run straight from the hand he touched to the spot between my legs that have been on hibernation for quite a while now. I squeeze my legs together to relieve the sudden pressure. I put my hand on his hand and thanked him for his compassion. He seems to feel the same thing, pulls his hands back and returns to his seat.

He squints his eyes and asks: "𝑆𝑜, ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠?" he asked. We could do 'it' so many ways, on this desk for example I thought. "𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠? 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛, 𝑑𝑜 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦 𝑛𝑜𝑤? 𝐷𝑜 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑝𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡? 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝐷. 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒" I said with a hint of despair. "𝐴𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑙𝑎𝑤𝑦𝑒𝑟, 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑝𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦. 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑒𝑚𝑖-𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡" he said with a disgusted look on his face. Funny thing is, I've watched that tape over and over again. When I got over the disgust, I had to commend them for the passionate intercourse. He never did half of the things he did to her, to me. "𝐷𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑓𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛?" he asked. "𝑁𝑎ℎ... 𝐼 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑛𝑜, 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑜𝑛" I replied, realizing I'm not being the classy person I set myself to be in here, like 𝙕𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙮𝙖𝙝 is. He busted out laughing. "𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩. 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩" he said while looking at my lips. I felt the tension rising as I imagined him coming in my mouth. I shook off that visual and said "𝑌𝑒𝑎ℎ, 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢?" I answered, making a point of lightly licking my lips. I saw the vein in the middle of his forehead pop up. Oh, it's working. He stared at me and I stared back at him, waiting for him to realize he has been staring at me without answering the question at hand. So I repositioned myself. He snapped out of it, loosened his tie a little and inhaled deeply. He seems a little shaken and re-organizes a stack of paper that did not need organizing. "𝑁𝑜, 𝐼 𝑔𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡" he said while avoiding looking me in the eyes.

"𝑆𝑜, 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑝𝑒..." I said while pulling it out of my bag and waving it at him. "𝐼 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝐼 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡." I stated. "𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑢𝑠𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑑'𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑥 𝑡𝑎𝑝𝑒 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒, 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡. 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑤𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑘𝑖𝑑𝑠" he said and the latter seemed to serve as a reminder to himself. He has a wife and kids. I am a distraction. Well, well, well. I knew I could nudge my way into his life, even if it is over a decade later. "𝑊𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒? 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑡 𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟" I said hoping we could meet on non-professional grounds. I could see the doubt in his eyes for the longest time. I know that he knows that this is the start of a wild ride. "𝑆𝑢𝑟𝑒, 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑒. 𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑣𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒?" he said hesitantly. I wasn't about to let this opportunity slip again: "𝐼 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑐ℎ 𝑦𝑒𝑡, ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤?"