Becoming "Forever Yours"

Ch. 11 Trust.

I liked her.

If I didn't know it by the way I was constantly looking forward to being greeted by that smile, or scanning the class to find those bright brown eyes, or by the way my heart skidded a beat every time she called me 'doll'..

I knew it because she was gone from school these past few days, and the days felt like weeks without the tinge of leather in the air.

I missed her. And terribly.

And when those days did turn to a week, and then two, I felt like I had missed out on something I didn't even know I'd had the opportunity to have. Whatever it was between us. I wanted it to continue, to grow. I wanted to keep playing the victim to her endless nagging, because I knew deep down, it was getting me through the day.

Making my school days less and less gloomy before I knew it, she had so subtly become a vital part of my day. And now, I felt even lower than before she had waltzed her way in through Green Grove's doors.

I never thought that anyone could draw me from myself the way she was doing ever so cleverly. And it would be my luck that the person to do it.. was more than.. a person. Let alone gone now.

I knew that what I had seen was real. I knew for a couple of reasons. The first, well.. I hadn't been the only one to see it. In those couple of weeks, rumors spread about the new girl having some sickness, or secret that the government would eventually off her for. Leave it to dumb high schoolers..

And two, because the one that I saw do it, had yet to show up again. She was hiding. And that meant it was real.

As unbelievable as that day was, it'd happened. It was real, she was real, even as her absence tried to make her ethereal presence fade away.. it couldn't. You couldn't forget her if you tried. I.. I would never.

I wasn't afraid. After all, it had been me she was protecting. It had been me she risked exposing herself for. That had to mean something, right? No, it had to mean everything.

This wasn't some rom-com fantasy novel. She hadn't been the usual, dark and quiet new girl. She hadn't hid away from the world like you would expect someone with a grave secret to do, no. She was light and fire, bright and warm. Always smiling and offering herself for the world to poke and prod at.

But the look on her face before she'd left me standing there, let me know that was the exact opposite of what she thought of herself, and that.. broke my heart.

When had her happiness become essential to my own? When had anyone's? It had been so long since I'd opened up, truly opened up to anyone since Margot and I fell off. And now, she was gone too.

"You sure you don't want me to stay with you?" Gina lightly shook me by the shoulders, pulling me from my thoughts as we walked the block. "You took a good hit to the face, I'd hate to not be there again if anything happens." She smiled softly at me, but her eyes screamed pity as she looked at my healing black eye.

Within those two weeks, a lot had happened. Gwen was gone. Margot and her trolls started rumors about her and about me. And well, I'd had enough and took some of Gwen's advice. Even if that left me with a black eye and cut on my top lip, Margot walked away far worse.

That was a friendship that was over. And a part of me felt relieved to admit it. She would never be my friend again, and I.. was okay with that.

"I'll be fine." Margot and her Barbie goons had made it a point to avoid me after the fight. Come to think of it, I hadn't seen them around besides the classes we actually had together. "You and Nance go on. I need some time to think, you know?"

I had also taken another bit of Gwen's advice. She'd been right, about damned there everything. I had always had my guard up, even with those I considered friends, and knew it was time to make a change. So.. I did just that, throughout her absence, I opened up to my friends about how I felt.

How I felt about her.

Leaving out the detail that wasn't mine to share, I told them everything else. And most importantly, how I should've been able to come to them sooner. And they forgave me, opening up to me with secrets of their own I would've never known, had I not taken that step. I had Gwen to thank for that.

April, one of Margot's minions, and Nancy had a thing for one another. Being afraid to tell your friend something like that made me feel even shittier, but I was glad that she could trust me when I could finally show that I trusted her. And I did, she was free to like who she wanted, even if they were on enemy territory. Nancy was my friend, she wouldn't betray that.

And Gina.. well, Gina was simply Gina. She would tell her secrets even if that meant blaring a bullhorn straight in your ear to make you listen.

"We love you, honey. Don't hesitate to call one of us, okay?" She nodded.

Looking up at her, something caught my peripheral attention. "Yeah, promise. Now go." I smiled, shooing her away. "Nancy's going to order without you."

Gina blew a kiss in the air. "Don't be out too late."

"Yes, mom." I smiled. And when I was sure she was gone, I turned around to face the entrance of the alleyway I had stopped taking.

Noting a bike with a matching helmet hanging just off the handlebar further down. And then I ran toward it.