blossoming

02

the next day at school, i saw you again. i was relieved that you were at school. you always seem to make my day so much better than it was. sneaking glances at you from across the classroom is my only saviour from the boring reality that is school. my thoughts jump around -

do you know who i am? my name? my personality?

what would you do if i told you that i loved you? look at me with disgust? embrace me?

do you like another girl? me?

do you even realise how nice your eyes are?

okay let's forget about the last one.. these thoughts plague my mind, even when i try to focus on something else. it's always you. the lunch bell rings and i sigh, knowing i'll spend another break looking over at you, trying to imagine you sitting by my side, smiling, talking, laughing with each other. 

this lunch, though, was a twist. i didn't ever see it coming in reality, but i must have surely visited this situation in my dreams. i watched you walk over to the bench that you normally sit at, but then a weird expression crossed your face. 

you hesitated.

the blue backpack you use was slung over your shoulder, and you strode to a new table. near me. my table. 

you sat across from me, the seat available since my friends hadn't arrived yet. again my cheeks heated and i gave you a questioning gaze. you opened your mouth and the words spilled out. "my friends abandoned me, can i sit with you?". my heart skipped a beat, and i nodded, small movements that reflected my nervousness. the goofy smile you gave me is still pressed into my memory, never to be forgotten.