Two different girls same past. One suffers amnesia while the other remembers all the horrific things that happened to them. What will happen if everything spills? will everything be fine or will everything boil over and end in calamity?
~September 10,2019 4:00 a.m~ "Why won't you die already?!" They say kicking my stomach "you pathetic excuse for a human being!" They yell at me I only respond by coughing up blood "You disgusting shit your in for it now" they say grabbing my hair and banging my head against the floor ~ ~ ~ ~
This morning I woke up from another nightmare again. I've been having the same nightmare for the past couple of months since I met Lilian.
I'm a child again but I'm trapped in a dark room. A child is also there with me but I don't know who they are. Sometimes that's all my dream is but sometimes a tall figure looms over me and beats me. Beats me until I pass out. They sometimes would rip my insulin pump out and keep me from having insulin causing me to vomit and go into shock.
I haven't told anyone about these nightmares because i don't know if they'd believe me. Sometimes I'll wake up and see Lilian staring at me worriedly askings what's wrong. I always answer saying nothing and it was just a nightmare but she looks like she doesn't believe me. She looks guilty like she knows something.. ~ ~ ~
After my reunion a week ago, YangYang and I have been hanging out every chance we get.
Wayv his group is done promoting so this is like his vacation but since I still have school I can't see him until after.
Ten has been tagging along with us most of the time, Lilian says it's because he doesn't trust us alone together because he thinks Yangyang likes me.
I can't help but laugh at that reason because why would he like me? Like as a friend I get but more than that? That's funny.
Ever since Ten and I became close he has been very overprotective of me. Making sure I'm safe always, checking to make sure my blood sugar is in range and just making sure I'm okay.
Don't get me wrong I appreciate it so much and I love him for that... but it does get burdensome sometimes.
Yesterday was one of those days. After school yangyang met me outside of the school and we walked to the movies together because he wanted to see a new horror movie that came out.
When we got in line to buy our tickets Ten randomly showed up and coincidentally was going to see the same movie.
I looked to yangyang and he looked just as confused as I but we didn't say anything.
It was kinda weird during the movie because when I went to sit next to yangyang ten pushed passed me and sat next to him making me having to sit next to ten.
I love him like a brother but
What the hell dude.
If that's not enough to annoy the hell outta me, my mental health has gotten worse.
My old ways of handling it has been tugging at the back of my mind trying to make me break and start it again.
I feel like I have hit a wall and I don't know what to do.
I should be happy.
I have friends.
My best friend is back.
People love me.
But that seed of self doubt has been planted and I can't get it to go away.
I tug on my sleeves running my fingers over the faint scars that remain on my wrists.
I don't know why I started.
It just happened.
Memories I didn't know I had flooded my mind and I thought doing this would help.
I keep this all too myself because I would rather not burden them with what's going on.
I'm better off just handling it myself.
Sighing I roll out of bed and shuffle over to the bathroom on the other side of the room.
Staring into my reflection I can't help but notice the eye bags underneath my eyes.
I look like hell. I guess this is what happens when you don't get sleep.
I wash my face and apply some concealer underneath my eyes to hide the dark circles.
I make sure not to make too much noise while leaving the room and head down to the living room.
Plopping down on the couch I switch on the tv and watch re runs of Strong Girl Bong-Soon.
I must've dosed off because when I opened my eyes the sun was shining bright and I saw Lilian and Kibum talking over at the kitchen table.
"What time is it" I ask rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
"It's 10:00 why are you out on the couch though?" Kibum says sipping his coffee.
"I woke up early and decided to watch some tv and I guess I fell asleep"
"Oh well there's coffee over in the pot over there if you want some"
"Thanks"
Slipping on my slippers I walk over to the coffee pit pouring myself a big glass of the delicious warm beverage.
"I don't know how you guys can drink that let alone without any sweetener" Lilian says with a look of disgust
"Because we actually have taste"
She just laughs and takes a banana from the fruit bowl.
"So any plans for today?" Kibum says
"I'm not sure yet I haven't checked my phone to see if anyone texted me" I say sipping on my coffee careful not to burn myself.
"Well I got a call from yuta and he wants us to come over and cook some cookies with them for whatever reason" Lilian says Looking over at me
"Oh alright I guess I should get ready then" I say heading towards our room to get ready.
After dressing and putting on some makeup I was ready to go.
(Evie)
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(Lilian)
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After Lilian was done getting ready we walked out to my car and got in.
Reaching over to the radio Lilian put on Mamma Mia by SF9.
