Edward's Diary

Nudger

Dear Diary:

No. No. No. No.

Maybe. 

No. No. No. 

Forget it, this one would have to do. 

“I have to say, I never thought finding a book in your library would be tough. You do not have anybooks for learning French.” I frowned as I climbed down the little ladder in Carlisle's library and put it away. 

“That's because either everybody in the house already knew French, or thought it is a . . . soft language, shall we say.” He shook his head, which was buried in a thesis about Lobotomies.  

        Carlisle never passed up a chance to learn about new procedures. 'Medicine is constantly evolving,' he used to say, 'and frankly, it would look weird for my job if I use methods of the seventeenth century.' 

“Nobody is going to sue you for saying the word 'gay', Carlisle. You don't have to substitute.” I chuckled and shook my head. Three hundred something years old and still having issues with cursing. His parents would be so happy.  

        And that “French is gay” thing was entirely Emmett. Out of all of us, excluding Bella, he was the only one who could not speak French. He tried, for some time, but not being able to pronounce 'Enchante' properly he just got fed up and resorted to saying it was a gay language. 

“It's derogatory.” Carlisle disapproved.  

“I know, but it's Emmett. You can't get anything through his thick head.” I rolled my eyes, “By the way, you might want to stock up on the “French for Dummies” and whatnots like that. Bella wants to learn how to speak French.” 

Carlisle smiled in surprise, “Oh, that's nice. She must be getting bored anyway, sitting in the living room all day with a big belly. Might as well render the time productive.”  

I shrugged and smiled. Let's leave it at that, shall we, Carlisle? Really, it did him good to not know the real reason why Bella wanted to learn French. It had the words 'island', 'feathers' and 'hot' in the same sentence. 

You get the idea.  

        I did, too, in the same instant. What? I'm a guy with a beautiful pregnant wife. And things had been better recently, now that we had discovered ways to keep Bella and the baby healthy. Yes, it involved her drinking human blood (something which a house full of vampires is bound to have issues with) but it kept her heart beating. That was all that mattered to me. I would die before someone could even lay a scratch on Bella. That was a bit hypocritical of me to say, I guess, since I had the been the source of many of her sorrows in the past. I had even wanted to kill our baby, and I was not proud of that.  

        But now that she was here, now that she was mine—this surreal, beautiful angel of a woman—and she had somehow, miraculously, chosen to be with me, I had decided to put it all behind me. I was going to start afresh. I was never, even going to hurt her. Never again. What she wanted, she got. That was what had brought me here. We had been interacting more and more these days: talking, touching, embracing, all the while discussing our baby's prospective future. With the danger to her health out of the picture, albeit for a little while, I had finally realized how beautiful it was to just sit and talk with your pregnant wife. We both knew that we had days before the baby actually came, but we were avoiding the subject of her transformation and delivery entirely for now, atleast with each other. I, for one, busied myself in looking up ways to make this less and less painful for her while she slept. 

I stopped in my tracks when I saw the sight in the living room. Bella was sitting up on the couch, her feet tucked under her thighs on one side, covered in a snug blanket. Her hair had regained some of its former shine, and it fell freely as she lowered her head to look at her huge belly. Her frail arms wrapped around the bulge, and her face, even though still a little sagged and green, glowed with what I could only call love. Profound, pure, unconditional love, no matter what the consequences. I knew what that felt like. I knew better than to intrude on her moment, so I opted to just stand by and listen.