Life Stories

My life is a battle ground

XxInSaNiTyBlOoDxX's Story

They say sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me.... But really, what do they know about it? Word run deep under the skin and are stained in forever. Just like something that stays in motion tends to stay in motion, but with words the WILL stay in motion. You can't just grab out and retrieve word like you can a stone.

My mom and dad were perfect, or so I thought. I never knew that the way my mom treated me was wrong in all ways. I didn't know the slightest that a mom shouldn't shove their daughter down a set of 15 stairs, ok yes, yes I, did but I never really wanted to believe it.

It became a just about an everyday thing. My father was my sanctuary. He always smelled like sweet honey and campfire, which was funny because he had an office job and hardly ever went camping but when he did he would say that it was all worth it. You know what else was worth it? Staying strong through beatings just so I could smell the sweet smell of honey and campfire

He never knew what mom was doing, or was she even mom? The day that changed me forever, was the day that she went as far to cut me with a knife because of her anger. I had locked myself in the closet and cleaned the wound, in which I still have a scar from.

When I had locked myself in the closet I had fallen asleep. When I woke, I heard my mother talking over the phone on speaker.

My father had always been in an office job, he was a boss. The job was tiring and stressful. And well I guess he really was tired and stressed, because he had been going about 90 mph and had drifted into the other lane. He went full speed head first, into a semi truck.

That's what the phone call was about, he was already lost. He had been stabbed in the neck by a piece of the broken rim on the truck. My mother was neither sad nor grieving. She was angry as can be.

She had made up a way to feel better, she told herself it was my entire fault and that if I never would have been born then my father could have never left to get me a present, causing him to never die.

Yes, he had been so stressed he had forgotten my birth day and had gone out to get me a birth day present.

I've survived bullies, my mother, the loss of a loved one, the loss of friends and been dumped by my bf. I had been cutting and taking lots of pills so the pain would stop and I would fall asleep, so I wouldn't cry, I needed to stay strong for my father. But I've realized that, that was not being strong, that was just hurting myself. Now thx to a friend and my own mental self I've gone without cutting for about a week or two.

Thx 4 reading

Ps. the friend that helped was Lostsloul000

Written by, XxInSaNiTyBlOoDxX

If u want to learn more about my past I am writing a book called "Some times the ones with little give a lot."

Thankkkkk you