The Letter

Processing

After a few minutes they broke their kiss. Both sighing as if they drank water for the first time after several days and looked at one another smiling. Can held her face with his hands.

Can: I missed you so much.

Sanem: What do we do now?

Can: We are going to do things right this time.

Sanem: Okay. (she shyly looked down)

Can: Can you stay here with me tonight? I don't want to spend a minute away from you.

Sanem: I can stay. Can we just... take things slow?

Can: Of course my love. We have all the time in the world.

They spent the rest of the night together catching up on each other's lives and talking about their relationship. They both knew they needed to better communicate what they expected from each other.

Sanem's POV

I can't believe I'm back here like this. We've managed to put it all out in the open and finally get our shit together. We fell asleep in each other's arms on the pull out couch at the cabin. He seems so peaceful when he sleeps I wish I could fall asleep.

I tried to wiggle my way out of Can's arms which wasn't too difficult. He slept so deeply, I was almost worried he didn't have pulse.

I picked up my coat put on some shoes and went out to the garden just walking around looking at the stars hoping to find some guidance and maybe get sleepy. Of course, my inner voice decided to chime in. God I'm so afraid. How long until he will leave me again? I can't think. I know we talked about where we both need to improve, but can we actually do it? I know I don't want to disappoint him again but I don't know if I will ever feel like I will be enough for him? He says that I am but when will our next obstacle present itself? It always happens with us.... I started to hear something and looked around.

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Can's POV

I'm so happy right now I could shout from the mountain tops. My love and I are together again and at our home the cabin. This place I built not knowing it was always intended be for us. I'm so relieved she will be staying here tonight with me. I don't think I could take another day without her again. I mean like ever again. She is the oxygen I breathe. Falling asleep with her in my arms has been so wonderful I'm almost afraid I'm imagining it. Her scent stays with me in my dream.

I moved and felt my arms come together awkwardly. My first thought was where's Sanem? Had I scared her away already? Had she ran away from me? Was this all a dream?

I got up and looked around the cabin and then walked outside to see her again looking up at the stars in the garden.

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Sanem:(looking back at Can) I hope I didn't wake you. You seemed so peaceful.

Can: It's been the best sleep I've had in months.

Sanem: I'm sorry, I was a bit restless.

Can: Sanem, are you okay? I mean did I overwhelm you?

Sanem: I'm just thinking. I...I.....I'm afraid.

Can: (reaching out his hands for hers) Please don't say you're afraid of me. I never meant to scare you that night. I still can't believe myself for yelling at you like that.

Sanem: No, I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of this. (pointing between the two of them)

Can: You mean us? What could you be scared of?