poison (saida)

trois

once, another day started for sana, she woke up and looked to her left side, a new girl.

cautiously she awoke the latter, she hurriedly looked for her clothes, sana picked them up for her as the girl scurried out.

"hey, what's your name?" sana asked scratching the back of her neck.

"uh, mina...why?" mina stuttered.

"just wondering. have a good day." sana sat at the edge of her bed, contemplating her actions.

she got ready and went to class, she shared a few classes with dahyun,

luckily.

sana got to class quite early actually, usually late.

she took this chance to steal the seat next to dahyuns, of course, to pester her, knowing no one would stop her.

"what are you doing here so early and nex to me?" dahyun asked with a hint of hatred in her voice.

"mina." sana said reluctantly.

"pardon? you already forgot my name?"

"no, that's her name." sana gave the name of one of the hundreds of girls she's been with.

"you seriously slept with someone after i told you everything?"

sana didn't think of this outcome, she bowed her head with guilt.

"im sorry..." she whispered.

"sana, its hard for me ever to forgive you, my main question is why? why do you play with girls hearts."

dahyun got irritated when sana didn't answer, she soon realised sana heard,

very clearly.

her tears quietly shed.

"i'll be back, make sure no one takes my seat, if class finishes do you mind putting my stuff in my apartment?" sana left her keys with dahyun, head still lowered, hiding her tears.

"i- uh, okay." dahyun realised how hard those words shattered her, although she dislikes sana there's somewhat a soft spot in her heart for her, maybe because she knows sana is self aware but she can't stop it, that's something even dahyun can't grasp the concept of.

class ended and as dahyun expected, sana didn't turn up.

she walked over to the apartment, she assumed it was the right address judging from the keychain.

she knocked on the door, maybe sana was home.

on the other side, dahyun heard quick footsteps.

"hey," sana greeted.

"are you okay?" if dahyuns being honest she was quite concerned.

"yeah, i guess, sorry for not answering your question, i just got a bit sad." sana grew a weak smile, suppressing her thoughts.

"do you uh, wanna come in? it's cold." sana asked.

"oh, um, okay." dahyun smiled, she knew sana was in a rough patch, she almost forgot she hated sana.

they talked for a while getting to know each other, almost like friends.

"you don't have to answer, but why do you just fuck girls, have you ever gotten in a real relationship?"

"i have had one, it wasn't bad or anything and that's not the reason i use these girls. if im honest it's just i don't like being in love, i probably would love to be in love actually but i don't think im worth peoples time."

"what makes you think you're not good enough?" dahyun cocked her head to the side, confused.

"look at me, im not ideally the best person to date, people think im not loyal, that's only because i fuck these girls, that's what they perceive me as so i just give up and stick with those characteristics, i don't like it and i desire a relationship but no one wants me. im different, i could show that but i feel as if i will get judged." sana explained, keeping her cool.

"well what would you describe your real self as?"

"im actually quite smart, i am quite girly, i do care about peoples feelings, alot, very loyal, sensitive and basically the exact opposite of who i am right now." sana explained as well as she could, heart beating fast, wondering if dahyun believed the real sana.

it was alot for dahyun to take in.

"i get it, why don't you show those aspects though, i prefer your real self."

"that's who i am, dahyun, that's whats tattooed into my heart, i  have a good personality but when people tell me who to be i mould into that,"

"i know its confusing, even i can't understand it." she finished.

"i really appreciate you opening up to me, you really aren't a bad person." dahyun smiled.

"dahyun, how do i learn to love someone well?"

"follow what you think is right, while maintaining good morals, be yourself, your real personality seems really charming."

"thanks." sana grinned a way that made dahyuns heart flutter.

"well, im going to go, i really enjoyed hanging with you, have a great day." dahyun left, waving.

she enjoys my presence. 

sana smiled to herself, bundled up in her blankets, she doesnt know why she found this so exciting but it was new to her, no way shes feeling love, that was her number one rule in life, to not fall for anyone.

fin du chapitre