The Infected Mind

Chapter 30

Raven wouldn't stop screeching.

Almost every minute of every day, Raven was screeching as loud as possible, and when she couldn't anymore, she snarled and growled until she was gasping for breath, just to start over again minutes later.

It was painful for the humans, and most wore ear plugs now, and it was even starting to disturb Harris' and I's instincts, making us more aggressive and on edge. Yuki, Mia, and the two other Crawlers we had were tranquilized to keep them from adding to the noise. We tried to sedate Raven or try something to make her stop, but she always got out, and the tranquilizers weren't effective enough for some reason. We had no idea why, they worked just fine on every other Crawler, why not her?

I decided to go and try to talk with her now. She had been given the 'Sane Drug', as Jason called it, a few days prior, but we couldn't tell if it was having any effect on her. It was similar to a vaccine, as it was mostly the virus, but it had the mutation that weakens instincts within, we couldn't tell if it even did anything for already turned Crawlers, as far as things seemed, it was best for infected people before they turned. It was easier to weaken instincts before they were there than try to retrieve a broken mind later. Nothing seemed to have any effect on Raven anyway, so I wasn't sure why they thought this would be any different.

I went down to the basement and slowly opened the door at the bottom of the creaky stairs, making the snarls and growls louder as the soundproofing was compromised. It was really just a bunch of blankets and newspapers stuck to the inside of the basement walls. I slipped in and closed the door behind me. I looked at Raven, who was snarling breathlessly.

She had ropes around her torso, holding her Crawler legs in place. Her wrists were both in separate pairs of handcuffs and attached to pipes and poles on the walls, with more rope around them for good measure. She had bandages around her eyes so the humans could observe her without keeping the lights off, and so if she went sane we could talk to her and explain things before she went fully off the rails.

She continued snarling, getting quieter by the second before it turned to panting. She could smell me in the room now, no doubt, and she was clearly unhappy about it. She hadn't been able to eat anything for days now, it would make it harder for her to escape, and even if she did, it was less likely she would have the physical strength to hurt anyone or herself. I hated this, I really hated this.

I sat against the back wall facing her, leaning against it heavily. I wasn't sure if she understood me or even wanted to listen, but she had stopped snarling, and I didn't see why I shouldn't try talking. It might help pull her back, or something, isn't that something you do to people in comas? Is this like that at all?

"Raven, I don't know if you can hear me, or if you can even understand me, but I just want you to know - f you can - that I forgive you for attacking me. It wasn't your fault in the slightest, it wasn't even you attacking me, it was the virus. Even now, I know this isn't you, and it's all instincts, as if you were an animal.

"At least you have an excuse for attacking people, you aren't a Sane Crawler, or if you are now, you weren't before. I was always Sane, from the day I turned, so I never had such an excuse.

"I infected a person, a while ago. I bit him, outright. Just...tried to eat the guy. I wasn't all there. By a stroke of luck, Sanity carries to whoever I infect, and he said he doesn't hold a grudge at all, but...I don't think he was being completely honest.

"The only blood you have on you was your own, mine, and animal blood, so you never caught and killed a person. I always hunted animals intentionally, but, it isn't like I don't have human blood on my hands."

Raven had stopped thrashing around and was now still and quiet apart from her heavy breathing. I doubted this was because she was listening, but I continued anyway, "Raven, I was always sane, I never had an excuse. You, even with your instincts, never murdered innocent people and found a way to justify it."

I didn't want to relive that time in my life. But I thought it might help Raven knowing she wasn't anywhere near as bad as me, "You attacked a murderer. You were justified. I wasn't."

I stood up to leave, but I realized I just didn't have the emotional energy to will myself to stand. So I just sat there while my emotions just faded away, I couldn't think of anything else to do, and I didn't care anyways. So I just fell asleep, though as I did, I felt a sinking dread in the back of my mind. As if part of me knew this wasn't my own doing, the rest of my mind couldn't care.

○ ○ ○

I opened my eyes. The light was so bright, where was I? Was this still the cave? How was it so bright then, I remembered the cave being really dark. I lifted my arm to cover my eyes, but my arm hurt so badly.

Still, I covered my face, why was it wet? I looked at my arm, it was covered in blood now. I wanted to scream. Why was my face covered in blood?!

I jumped up and ran out of the cave, causing a throbbing to radiate through my head, like a going being repeatedly hit inside my skull. The sunlight was blinding, it was so painful I almost couldn't think or see straight. I ran to the small river I had remembered seeing while we were running from the Crawler. The Crawler...

No! I must have been imagining that! I couldn't be infected! I looked at my reflection in the rippling water, there was a black spot in the center of my forehead and blood was rolling down my entire face, originating from that dark spot, there was a slash in my arm, and there was blood soaking though my hoodie from my face and forearm, this wasn't happening!

I looked closer at my reflection. My eyes. My eyes were black! Completely blacked out! I felt my back, I could feel bumps along my spine. No!

I was not becoming a Crawler! I was not a monster!

I looked around the clearing, there was nothing. No sign of Crawler or human. Megan, Travis, Daniel...all of them, they just left me to rot in there...

This wasn't happening...