Young Love, Lessons, & Attachments

Too Deep to Let Go

See it was never the looks I fell for
or that had me wrapped around your finger
like a piece of string too tight to pull from
my sweater.
It was making me feel like like I was appreciated and wanted.
Your scent,
it was the tight but yet gentle hugs
that made me float and feel more than
safe.
The deep mature like conversations,
late night calls,
30 minutes to an hour
taking turns expressing exactly how we really felt,
you entrusting me with your life's secrets,
knowing
you can come to me about any and everything
when you felt like you had nobody
but me.
The little things that mattered
I fell for every little thing and cried out apologies
but what would really get me the most were,
your words.
Sex never played a part in our relationship,
It was about the vibe,
we had a vibe,
you gave me a vibe,
I returned the favor,
It was the vibe.
Cause it was there.
2 months in. Glitter & Gold.
X's & O's.
At least that's what it seemed like.
I was never allowed to have a boyfriend.
I was in love with you
So I did whatever it took
to be with you.
Broke any rules,
Made sacrifices just to be
With you.
I guess I should've listened and known better..
Right?
Cause 4 months later its the end of the school year
Now something seems
Different.
You're changing...
The vibe. Where'd it go?
The feelings. They start to fade.
"What's going on and why are you treating me as if I'm
Nothing?"
They say treat others how you wanna be treated
So I did.
I gave you the utmost respect you deserved.
Those past two weeks
I never got it in return.
I looked a fool and kept my cool
While you were goofing
Off with your
"friends"
that you don't even
talk to anymore,
But you "love" me...
right?
Like Ella Mai said
"My bad for trippin' off you"
I didn't have my feelings
on safety
making it easier for you to
shoot me exactly
where my heart bleeds.
But I guess
that's my fault.
Moving too fast
I didn't know you from
a can of paint.
So I learned you
like the back of my hand.
Here comes the
Grief, heartbreak, hurt
You did this, I let it happen.
But you're to blame for this feeling.
& you fail to take responsibility
for your actions.