The Virgin Life of Mary Magdalene

In the beginning...

"Mary?... MARY!"

I jolted awake, my head flying up from my desk. "Yes, Mrs. Sedwill?" I rubbed my eyes to make everything come back in to focus.

Big mistake.

The entire class was looking at me, snickering at the fact I had dozed off.

Fuck you, too, I thought.

"Mary."

"Yes ma'am."

"Please read from the beginning of Genesis."

I grabbed the bible at the corner of my desk and lazily flipped to the first page of text. "In the beginning," I yawned, "God created the sky and earth. The earth was empty and had no form. Darkness covered the ocean, and God's spirit was moving over the water..."

"It's mind-blowing, isn't it?" Sedwill interrupted, "How big God is. Every set of eyes reading this book was created in His image." She walked through the isles of desks as if to reach every student with her message.

"He used dirt and rib to create Adam and Eve. He formed you, too," she motioned at me, "in your mothers body. Never forget that you are the creation of a great and powerful God... And he demands your attention and respect."

She stared at me for a few moments. Nobody moved, nobody breathed.

I moved my gaze back to my desk.

Damn. I quickly wiped away the puddle of drool that had accumulated on my desk from my nap. I fully admit it---I'm a drooler. Gross I know, but not much I can do about. It's not like I have anyone sleeping next to me at night, anyway.

See, I've been living that forever alone life for the past sixteen years. It's not like I'm ugly or anything, in fact, most people make it a point to comment on how pretty I am (or if they don't like me then I'm referred to as "Malibu Barbie"). And I'm not a bitch to people either (unless they try shoving religion down my throat, like Mrs. Sedwill).

The reason I've been alone is because I'm different, and everyone knows it. Here at Blanchet Christian Academy people are firm believers in God, or so they say. Blanchet offers preschool through twelfth grade. Naturally all the bible thumping families in the area enroll their children in preschool when they're old enough so they can get brainwashed at an early age. I mean....so they can be exposed to the wonders of the Lord and accept him into their hearts at a young age.......

That's what my family did to me. I'm their only child so I guess it makes sense they'd want me to turn out "right", but sadly I'm an atheist and they refuse to accept it. And although I have many friends here, no guy would want to bring me home to his religious parents. It's a pretty shitty deal. Luckily I have my bestie, Lily, to keep me sane through the days; and she happens to be sitting in the very back of the room while I am stuck sitting in the front.

So here I am, a junior in high school, stuck in Mrs. Sedwill's bible study class. She hates me for being, and I quote, a "non-believer".

"Alright class," Sedwill chimed, "The bell's about to ring. Feel free to pack your stuff up, but do not line up at the door."

I started shoving my loose papers with sloppy written lessons on them into my backpack as I watched Sedwill stroll to her desk. She use to be pretty once, you can tell by looking at her. But now her face is lined with wrinkles and a bad attempt at makeup, and her wardrobe needed a serious update from the 80's style she wears.

She looked up from the stack of papers she was shuffling through and met my gaze with an icy glare, "Ah yes...Ms. Magdalene. Thank you for reminding me---Please stay after the bell rings. I have a couple things I want to talk to you about."

All my friends snickered as they moved closer to one another to chat. They all knew not to mess with me when I'm sleepy or in a bad mood, and right now I'm thankfully for that. I looked back at Lily.

"What does she want?" Lily mouthed, pointing at Sedwill.

I shrugged. Its probably another talk on my sinning and how I can be saved.

After a couple minutes the bell rang and students made like a stampede of raging bulls. Within seconds the class was empty, except for me and Sedwill.

I avoided eye contact and pretended to pick at my nails.

"...Mary."

I sighed and reluctantly looked up, "Yes, Mrs. Sedwill."

"Come here please."

I got up, grabbed my bag, and slowly made my way to her desk. I threw my bag down. "Yes?"

"How are you?"

"Peachy."

"Yes. Well. You fell asleep in class. Again. That's the third time this week Ms. Magdalene."

I can't help it. I've been having really vivid dreams and they wake me up constantly. Last night's dreams included killer bunnies and swimming in a shark infested ocean of KoolAid. And when you combine sleepiness with an extremely dull class, it usually ends with nap time. "I know. I'll try to catch up on my sleep this weekend." TGIF!!!

Sedwill sat down at her desk and folded her hands in an attempt to be serious. "Responsibility is a part of life, Mary. School is one of the most important aspects of your future success. Getting sleep is a part of that. Which is why if this in-class nap time happens again I'll bring your parents into this."

"That won't be necessary, ma'am." I snapped.

She smirked but it didn't reach her eyes, "Believe me when I say It's for your own good. Its March, only three months to go before you're out of here for vacation. I'm sure many of us are very excited about that." She leaned in closer, "Three months, Mary. Don't make the remaining time here unpleasant for you."

As if it wasn't already.

"Fine. Can I go now?" I grabbed my bag and took a step towards the door.

"One more thing."

I stopped. Seriously?!?!

"I recommend you read up on Mary Magdalene in your bible. You may want to try emulating her behavior, since you already have the name."

I chuckled and stomped to the door. "Yeah, I'll just go get pregnant now." I didn't wait for a response.

Slamming the door behind me, I dug out my keys from my bag and weaved my way through the schools deserted halls. I can't wait to get home and take a bubble bath. And sleep. And not be around people!

As I went through the front entrance and out to the parking lot I felt free, almost like that satisfying feeling you get from taking your bra off at the end of a long day.

I reached my White Toyota Camry named Beulah (a sweet sixteen present from my parents) and hopped in.

"Take me away away from this this awful place." I sang to my steering wheel.

School: done, Next stop:

home sweet home!!!

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<3 Summer