Not a rEAL doctor

One.

Two.

Three-

You inspect the counter.

-Twenty.

Twenty-one.

Twenty-two.

Goddammit.

And suddenly, he's there. Those bright red eyes staring at you behind another pair.

"Twenty-three," you mutter, crossing your arms.

He must not hear you.

A few moments of silence.

"No, Doctor, I've felt fine lately."

A few more.

"No. Not at all."

Once more.

"DOCTOR! How DARE you ask such a question?"

...

"I don't care if it's your job, I-"

And then it hits you.

He's not a real doctor.

You're not in a real doctor's office.

You're in a fucking Olive Garden.

"So, Doctor...what year did you graduate high school?"

Silence.

"Did you even go to high school."

More silence.

"Did you go to school at ALL?"

Nothing.

"AHA! I knew it! You're not a real doctor, Honeytongue!" you spit, standing up so quick the backs of your knees hit the chair and knock it down.

"You LIAR!"

Soon the management comes.

"We have to ask you to please sit down-"

"nO! HE'S NOT A REAL DOCTOR. I'VE BEEN LIED TO!!"

"[Ma'am/Sir/whatever you want idc], please-"

"I DEMAND A REFUND-"

its two a.m.

in your basement

you stare at him

hes not a real doctor

no matter how many pairs of glasses he has