𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄, ᶠⁱᵛᵉ ʰᵃʳᵍʳᵉᵉᵛᵉˢ

evening

the room began to spin, the feeling nauseating. everything around me felt funny and fuzzy, my cheeks growing feverish. i laid back, forgetting i was sitting on the fountain. i fell into the cold water, the liquid not wetting me anyways. i groaned, my head aching. i huffed, my breath growing heavy and hot. i pulled myself up, trying to go to my room. i stumbed about, before succesfully getting up the stairs. my steps choppy and loud, i pushed the door to my room open. i pulled my weight, trying to get to my bed. i fell onto it, the springs creaking. my body adjusting to the sudden movement, my airways closed up slightly, my breathing slowing down and taking short breaks. i gulped, my throat dry. is this what living in a space box feels like? i asked myself. i shook myself, and ran a hand through my hair, sweat wetting it. i got up, and sighed.

i sat for a moment, trying to cool myself down and calm the nausea. i huffed, and jumped off my bed. the floor creaked with every step i took, my weight switching sides every so often. i made my way up to the roof, and sat down on the ledge. the window not open, and me not able to pull it, i sat in between the windows glass panes. the fuzzy feeling grew as i sat. i got a bit used to it, not noticing as my thoughts raced. i suddenly looked down, to see the concrete walking path infront of our home. my legs over the ledge moved ever so suddenly.

im really stuck here.

my eyes began to water at the bare thought of not being able to go back, grow up with my siblings and live a life. my resentment for my ability begun to grow. i was torn away from a childhood i could of had already, so why do it again? im gonna be stuck here forever and never be able to get back. my god-forsaken power that i was born with, is the number one reason for all my problems. i have a abusive father because of it. im stuck here because of it. im forced to train everyday, my energy sucked out of me endlessly because of it. ive never gotten a rest, just because of it. the tears that gathered up in the corners of my eyes spilled out, the water just coming and coming. i sniffled. did it really have to be me?

i yelled out in anger, punching my hand against the brick wall. why the hell did it have to be me? why did i have to be born with goddamn power that got me stuck here, and wont even let me the hell back! i shouted, my voice growing louder and louder with every thought. i ran my hands through my raven hair, frustrated and mad. i cupped my face, my mood growing lower. i let go of my face, now feeling embarrassed and disappointed in myself. im a real big disgrace to dad.

I'm pathetic.

i turned around, getting off the hard cold ledge. i dragged myself down the stairs.