Two and a Half Universes

Boob Spelled Backward is Still Boob

"Hey, Bell!" Mabel screeched, racing down the stairs toward the demon who had taken up residency on the couch with a book. Bill glanced up and once he realized who it was, decided to carefully put his book down and wisely so, considering how the girl flopped herself down on top of him. "What do you want?" Bill asked in slight exasperation. "Pioneer day is coming up and I need to size you so I can make a costume for you!" The girl said, vibrating with excitement. "Okay? Does this require me getting up?" Mabel rolled her eyes. "Yes. You have to come upstairs with me, but you can bring your dumb book if you want."

Bill sighed in defeat as Mabel finally stood up, pulling him up along with her. "And since you still haven't gotten dressed for the day, it'll give me time to find you a new pair of clothes from my closet," Mabel cheered. Bill rolled his eyes, but didn't protest as the over enthusiastic girl dragged him up the stairs. Soon Mabel was throwing a glittery, pink Kitten Patrol sweater at him and a pair of bright pink Booty-licious shorts at him, which he immediately put on, not caring whether or not the brunette saw him undressed or not, but Mabel didn't seem to care either after 4 years of experience dressing in the locker room at school.

Mabel smiled once he had the clothes on, although the sweater hung off one shoulder, seeing as Mabel had a slightly wider berth. She clapped her hands in applause of her masterpiece and Bill rolled his eyes again. "Now for the costume I was thinking blue and white themes. You'd have a floofy, light blue dress with white strings crossing over your chest," She mimed the strings zig-zagging across her own chest. "With a white bonnet and blue slippers. That sound okay?" Bill nodded, not caring all that much. "No glitter though." She squealed with glee before grabbing a tape measure from under her bed and getting to work, measuring him.

Dipper walked into the room, immediately freezing at the door when he saw what was going on in the room. Bill immediately straightened up, trying to seem a little more imposing. His stance said 'I'm a Demon, So Fear Me,' but the over-sized Kitten Patrol glitter sweater and Booty-licious pink shorts screamed 'Mabel Dressed Me And I Let Her.' Mabel was still fidgeting around the demon with the tape measure.

Dipper snorted softly and continued walking into the room. "What are you guys doing?" Mabel finally looked up with a bright smile. "I'm sizing Bell so I can make her a costume for Pioneer day!" Dipper nodded, maneuvering past them toward the desk and plopping down on a chair.

Bill suddenly got an idea. "Are we allowed to go by different colonial-type names during pioneer day?" He asked. Mabel thought about it for a second. "I don't actually know, but probably, yeah." Bill smiled wide at this. "I want to be Elizabeth Hubbard for Pioneer day." Dipper stared at him.

"You mean the girl from the Salem Witch Trials? Wasn't she one of the Salem Girls?" Bill grinned widely. "Yep. During the Salem Witch Trials she filed forty legal complaints against various 'tormentors' and testified thirty-two times, the last of her testimony being given on January 7, 1693. She testified against 29 people and 17 of them were persecuted. One of the most famous being that of the slave, Tituba."

Dipper stared at him for a moment. "And that's why I'm a little concerned." Bill rolled his eyes. "Says the guy who wouldn't trust cereal for a month after he found a cockroach in his bowl. Relax, kid."

"Yeah, well, you tried to kill us and take over our dimension, so don't blame me for not trusting your intentions," Dipper replied. "What's that saying? Water under the bridge? Let bygones be bygones? You need to do that. You stress too much, kid." Dipper sent him an unappreciative glare. Bill rolled his eyes in response. "Besides, there's not much I can do in this body," He said disdainfully.

"Did you know that females are generally less powerful than most males? Even those weightlifters are typically less muscled than their male counterparts. This vessel is useless." He gestured to himself. "Plus I'm a child," Bill said with a horrified expression, receiving no sympathy in response. "If I entered the nightmare realm in this vessel, I'd be dead in seconds flat. I don't understand how humans managed to survive 100,000 years. Especially considering how much they hate each other." Bill cackled.

"Well, not all people are like that," Mabel commented, moving her tape measure upward and measuring Bill's chest. "You wouldn't happen to know what cup size you are, would you?" At that, Dipper held a hand over his eyes and faced away from the girls, a blush forming on his face. Bill hummed in thought. "I don't know. Probably an A or B. They're not that big." He peered down at his chest with a small sigh, though he perked right up when he saw how uncomfortable Dipper was getting with the conversation. He smiled devilishly and stared right at Dipper, who was avoiding his gaze. "Hey, Pinetree!" He cupped his chest dramatically, never breaking eye contact with the wide-eyed brunette. "What size do you think I am?"

Dipper let out a sound that sounded similar to a shriek before dashing out of the room, muttering about how he had something else to do far, far away from Bill. Bill smirked, turning back to Mabel.

"Gullible."