Perhaps Love / Yug

It never happened

[Seoul, South Korea
Walking out of JYPE Building,
Gangdong Gu, 강동구
Several days later]

Just how fast things sometimes went, and how slowly other times moved.
How incredible it was to see moments happening under our sight, without being able to take the control of it, without being able to take a grip on them and hold them tight or to repulse them for our health.

Just how incredible it was, how things could put you down. And how strong you have to be, to always stand up and fight back.

Tiring.
That's how it is.
It was filthy, it was fought, unwanted.
It was like a tortured melody played on the surface of a broken piano.

And Nad couldn't recall a day when her life wasn't constatly going through it.
She didn't wanted that to happen, Nad did not knew how it all started.
The only thing she was sure about was that... she wasn't able to handle things around her.

To avoid the existence and the weight of all of it, Nad worked her body and brain to the stream. Last time she felt able to stop her work and talk with somebody was about two weeks before the present day. 

March was almost ending, and everybody was very busy with their doings, literally everybody around her.
But Nad couldn't.
Nad was busy, but she simply couldn't. 

Kimpi knew. And Kimpi gave her time.
She kept going to her place to be with her, in silence or to let her talk.
Nad could stare into the void for hours with her head on Kimpi's shoulder.
She also started to slowly crying for no reasons, on her friend's shoulder, while being hugged. 

"I'm tired of feeling this way." Nad would whisper to Kimpi. 

The others, anyway, didn't know, and were wondering.
Samuel kept asking about having lunch together or dinner, or to drive her home and spend some time together.
And she always had to find new excuses. She was tripping on them.
To the point she often stayed the night in the building just to sleep in the dorms and avoid him.

The group, Got7, was so busy, and was easier to avoid questions.
The poor times Jackson was in Korea he would wonder about her; Youngjae started peeping inside her office almost every morning; Bambam arrived to the point of texting her some silly selfies from Thailand.
Even Jinyoung, who was so distracted by his actor career, once asked her to read his favorite book. He hoped it would've cheered her up.
It was something like a very huge step from him.

But she didn't know what was happening...
Nad didn't know what was that huge weight she kept feeling on her whole body, that destroyed her thoughts, and made her feel more than simply tired at every other hour of the day.

It didn't made any sense.
Everything was going nicely. Nad even thought of having an interest in someone in her life... so it hit her.
Like a vertigo wave, she was knocked out by it.

To distract herself, Nad tried several different things: going up and down between eight whole floors to start moving the boxes from her office.
Helping Kimpi with her work, hanging at her place.
She tried exercise; she tried aromatherapy; she tried to listen to new music; she pushed herself to a point where she tried to cheer up with videos...

Still.
At the end of the day she kept feeling her body and soul like only dead carcasses would've, with some poor, few organic breaths left in.