Fallen

Chapter 17

Eliza

Gavin's words rang in my head, but more than that, what haunted me the most was the image of him, his clothes scorched and burned, his hair singed, and his eyes, gray, cold, hard as steel, and filled with pain and disappointment. I couldn't get them out of my head. I fell to my knees, my gun clattering against the deformed pavement. One street lamp had managed to stay lit, its bulb flickering with life even after the pole it stood on had been bent to a ninety degree angle. That light was enough for me to see how much damage the demon had done, damage that might have been stopped if I could have pulled the trigger.

"Eliza," Nathan said weakly, pushing himself to his feet. He staggered a bit before finding his balance, but then he planted his feet. "We need to get back to the church. Could you help me carry Toby to the car?"

"Yeah," I said, wiping my eyes and helping the priest lift the giant policeman. The wail of sirens wasn't far off, so the family would be taken care of. For now, I guessed it was more important we get away from the scene and avoid questioning. We carried Toby to the mustang and laid him down in the backseat. Nathan got in the driver's seat, which I know I should have protested. He was in no condition to drive, but my mind wasn't right. I got into the passenger side and the priest started the car. We rode in silence, words seeming so useless after what had just happened. I couldn't think of anything to say. The only words in my mind were the ones that Gavin had left me alone with, and the image of his eyes, burned into memory by flames hotter than anything the monstrous demon had been able to summon.

By some miracle, Nathan got us back to the church in one piece. The two of us carried Toby in side, putting him in one of the pews at the front. Nathan had put a notice up before we left that the church would be closed for the night, so we were alone, an exhausted priest, a half-dead cop, and a useless Sword who'd broken under the pressure. What a crack group of protectors for a city filled with demons we were.

"Penny for your thoughts," Nathan said with a tired grin, returning after going to change his habits.  I couldn't help it, I balled, the bottled up tears flowing unchecked.

"Gavin was right," I sobbed, pulling out the ruined box the fallen angel had given me at the bar. The remains of a USB drive fused to it and ruined. "I wasn't ready."

"None of us were," Nathan replied, looking up at the depiction of Christ. "We didn't know what we were going to face. That creature was beyond any of us."

"But you didn't freeze," I pointed out. "You weren't too scared to fight! You didn't lose it just because it looked you in the eye."

"It was a close thing," Nathan replied with a shake of his head. "I couldn't stop shaking, and as soon as I started fighting, I knew I wasn't going to win."

"But you still fought, how?" I asked, completely baffled. Nathan smiled.

"Because I had to," he answered. I motioned for more of an explanation. Thankfully, there was more to his story. "Everyone who fights has a reason, Eliza. That reason is what pushes us past our fear, through those times where we feel like there isn't a chance in hell for victory, and what drives us to become stronger."

"And what's your reason?" I asked curiously.

"That family," Nathan replied. "The lives that they will go on to lead, lives that might have been lost tonight if we hadn't fought. I can't protect everyone. I know this, but those I can protect, I will until my last breath has left my lungs. Toby has his family and their safety that pushes him forward, and Gavin? I think you'll figure it out eventually. If you were paying attention, you might have noticed there was a moment where his true self broke through. It was only for a few minutes, but if you think back, you will see it."