..........he wiped the sweat strolling down his forehead with his right palm and said brother, life has stripped me naked and flogged the living day light out of my bum bum. In fact, I have come to a conclusion that whoever opens his vocal cavity to say life is easy must have a frying pan of gold shoved in down his throat. I have seen what my mouth can never say.
Bro! Feel my palms! He said, dragging son of man's palm forth and placing them in his own palm. Shey you can feel it's stiffness. Bro, it's way stiffer than the fufu I ordered minutes back. These palms will bear me witness that I have never and will never be lazy. I can see questions lingering in your eyes brother. I know you might want to ask about my parents, their wealth and connections. Well, I'm here to save you that stress.
2017/2018 was a period I'll never forget in a hurry. Did I just say "in a hurry". Hahahaha I meant to say "forever". I woke up that faithful morning and rushed to clean up dad's 2 cars and mum's SUV. By 7:32am I was done and headed to my parent's room to wake them up, since mum had unusually not prepared breakfast by 6:30am. I knocked on their door several times but didn't get any reply, so I went back to my room to take a shower.
You know I used to manage dad's gold business here in Wuse and he had instructed me the previous night to deposit our whole cash from the previous month and the current month into his bank account. He said he needed to place orders too, so I had to be fast about the bank movement that morning.
The time was 8:05am and I was already dressed up. I went to dad's door once again and knocked. The television set was switched on, judging from the sound of that famous Kaakaki program on AIT. I was aware of my dad's addiction to the program and I decided not to distract him anymore. But then, he could have at least responded to my numerous salutations in Queens English, Pidgin English and even our local dialect.
I rushed to the bank with the cash and by 8:30am, I was done. I placed a call across to dad so he could confirm the transaction and tell me what the next step was. 3 missed calls turned to 16,17........ 39 missed calls to both dad and mum's phone lines with no response.
Bro I was more tensed than curious. I wished I possessed that superman powers that could enable me drift swiftly and move at the speed of light back to my home. Man! I was dead scared you know.
I was vividly shivering. I shivered so bad I fell off the bike I boarded home twice; he said, unveiling a big scar at the back of his arm.
I got home and with a divine strength, broke down the door to my dad's room with my right foot. Guess what?
I met my dad calmly seated on his study chair, palms on his bald head, sobbing softly and trying so hard to sniff back the catarrh running down his nostrils but to no avail.
Dad! What's happening? I yelled.
I've called you and mum for like................
Brother, I was lost trying to scold my dad I didn't notice the cotton wool stuffed in my mum's nostrils and the slightly uncomfortable odor emanating from God knows where.
Brother, my mum was dead!
See ehn, I prayed to God for insanity. I legit knelt on the floor and asked God to turn my brain inside out. I said madness was better off than this shock I was about to absorb.
Madam, you never warm the vegetable soup finish? My belle don dey sing "Gaga Shuffle" for here o, roared old friend.
I don finish sir. Na serve I dey serveam like this, retorted the waitress.
Ehn bros, please don't be angry. Let me have this meal first, then I'll complete my story, he said.
No! No! No! No probs brother, replied son of man.
In reality, son of man was trying his best possible to hold back a stream of hot tears impatiently waiting to flow down his cheeks. It took him the strength of "The incredible Hulk" to control them successfully though.
