Aphmau Updates, Theories and Rants [KINDA DISCONTINUED]

Storytime: I used to be a toxic fan and I'm sorry

Ooookay. Bit of a story time here.

So after watching the livestream I thought I'd tell this story.

Diaries was my first fandom. I was only 11 when I first got into Diaries (I'm almost 15 now) and I DID NOT know how to behave myself. For a period of time I was a real jerk. I was going through some crap at this time and I was really just a jerk in general. I should mention that my memory of all this is actually quite fuzzy because of everything happening at the time, so I may get some details wrong. I've also probably talked about some of this in my randomness book and stuff both as it was happening and afterwards so... yeah.

Let me start at the beginning.

Like I said, I got into the fandom when I was 11. Around late 2015. My cousin showed it to me (hi, Angel, idk if you read this book). I was, in all honesty, probably too young for Diaries, but my family and I had kinda gone through some crap and we had just moved and my parents had stopped monitoring what I did on the internet. (They still don't. GOODBYE, INNOCENCE) I had watched an episode with my cousin (I think it was the season 1 finale) and I loved Minecraft and cool sword fights and I was hooked immediately.

And then I discovered shipping. And fandoms.

Basically, I decided that Garmau and Larmau were the only ships that could ever matter. I hated Aaron and Aarmau, both in Mystreet and Diaries. I was too young to understand what was happening between Aaron and Aphmau. I had my mind made up. Garmau or Larmau, that was all.

(I discovered Wattpad around this time to, actually. I found a Garmau fanfic and had to have an account to read it, and everything escalated from there.)

Fast forward a bit. Aarmau sails. I freak the heck out.

I didn't send death threats or any of that, no. I didn't get that bad. But I got pretty bad. This is where my memory gets extra fuzzy, but around the beginning of Mystreet season 3 I decided I "couldn't handle the Aarmau being shoved down my throat anymore" and left the fandom entirely. I stopped watching both Mystreet and Diaries. I was done. I still loved early MS and MCD, and I would still read old fanfics, I would do rps based off of just early MS and MCD, and I wrote a little fanfiction (dont ask it has been taken down it was SO FREAKING CRINGEY) but I just. Refused to watch anymore episodes or participate in what was going on in the fandom at the time.

Except for when I would hear a rumor about what was happening and complain about how it was awful. ("They made Aaron a werewolf? Was he really not enough of a Gary Stu already?" Etc.)

FAST FORWARD AGAIN. It's March 2018. I had just had back surgery because my spine is as screwed up as my life. I had also done a lot of growing up since I freaked out and left the fandom, and had finally gotten out of that "toxic" phase. I had gotten into a lot of fandoms at this point, I knew how to behave now.

Since I didn't have a whole lot to do other than sit in bed, I decide to give Diaries and Mystreet a second chance. I binged Diaries and Mystreet from the beginning, including the MCD side stories and all the little mini series.

I fell in love all over again. At this point I had grown up enough that I actually understood more of what was going on. I LOVED Aaron and Aarmau (still do!) and when I got to the points where I had left off before I was more than happy to keep watching. I got to Emerald Secret and was SHOOK at how good it was. I cried. A lot. I loved werewolf Aaron. I cried SO MUCH when Aaron and Aph reunited (I still tear up thinking about the scene, it was truly beautiful) I cried and fangirl squealed and PTERODACTYL SCREECHED my way through Starlight bc AARON AND APHMAU ARE JUST SO FREAKING CUTE TOGETHER AND ALSO ZANECHAN. AND TRAVLYN. I catch up on everything around the time "Don't Disobey Me" (episode 7 I think) comes out. (Which actually came out June 2, the day before my 14th birthday!) season 6 is CRAZY and I LOVE IT and I HAVE SO MANY THEORIES, AND THERE ARE SO MANY CLUES, I JUST HAVE TO MAKE A BOOK WHERE I CAN FREAK OUT OVER IT AND GET ALL THESE CLUES TOGETHER AND RANT AND MAKE THEORIES ABOUT APHMAU'S SERIES.

And... well, here we are.

This turned into more of the whole history of me watching Aphmau (and part of my life story oof) instead of just me being a toxic fan, but whatever.

As you can see, I used to be pretty crappy, but I'm better now. I'm still not perfect by any means, but I'd like to say I'm a better person overall nowadays.

And to Jess, if I'm ever lucky enough to have her read this: I am so sorry. I am so sorry you had to go through all that mess and that I played a part in it. You and your channel have truly made a major impact on my life, and I have learned so many important lessons from being in this fandom. Thank you. Thank you so much. And again, I am sorry.

Thank y'all for reading this mess. And a HUGE thank you to all of the friends and family, both irl and here on Wattpad, that put up with me while I was going through that toxic phase. Y'all are great

And THANK YOU ANGEL, WHO GOT ME INTO APHMAU IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND ALSO PUT UP WITH MY BS DURING THAT TIME, AND STILL PUTS UP WITH MY BS NOWADAYS. IM NOT SURE IF YOU READ THIS BOOK OR NOT BUT WHATEVER. I LOVE YA SIS

It is currently 1 am as I'm typing this, so I'm gonna leave it in my drafts and edit and post tomorrow. It's over 1000 words wow

Abby from the future here, why did 1 am me SAY I was gonna edit and post the chapter later instead of just writing a conclusion? Why am I like this? Jeez