As I thought he would leave, he didn't... he stayed.
A- I'm not leaving, not now, not ever.... I know your not fine and I care too much about you.
Me- Just leave because not only am I not infatuated I'm in love with you now...
A- I love you too.
Me- But you don't, you can't just throw that word around Alex, you say it only if you mean it or it fucks you over.
A- I have never told Hailey I loved her... so what does this tell you right now.
Me- I don't know maybe you feel bad for me..
A- If I felt bad for you would I do this
He leaned in and kissed me.
I didn't push him away because in that moment I wanted this but I also hated him, I hated him for making me feel the way I do.
Alex grabbed me by the hand and we walked up to my room, we sat on the bed and I laid with him, I knew this was wrong but at the same time I didn't really care if this hurt me the way it does.
A- Are you okay..?
Me- I'm fine *fake smiles*
A- Talk to me.. I want to know what your going through
Me- I just don't know how to tell you without hurting
A- I will be here to pick up the pieces I ain't leaving you
Me- I was gonna be the one to ignore you because I caught feelings and I didn't want to be hurt again because I loved you unlike the others. I can be real with you and feel safe at the same time and when you hurt me I hated myself for being me I just wanted to be liked by you so much I started using again.
A- Baby don't, I am sorry I was such an asshole. You don't deserve that I should've been there for you I shouldn't have said the stuff I did.
Me- All that matters to me right now is that your here.
A- And it's gonna stay that way
I kissed him which lasted forever he grabbed my body and put it on top of his I began to take off his shirt then he took of mine this escalated so fast we were basically naked but he stopped.
A- Are you sure
Me- I think so..
A- If you get uncomfortable tell me and we will stop, we can take it slow
Me- Thanks Alex
We did it, I felt safe because he wanted me to feel okay even if it meant hurting him..I think he might actually care.
The next morning I woke up and he wasn't there so I went downstairs and saw he was making me breakfast.
A- Good morning mi amor, how did you sleep?
Me- For the first time I slept surprisingly well
A- good now go sit at the table so I can bring you your breakfast
Me- Alex you didn't have to-
He leaned in and kissed me
A- I would do anything to make that smile appear on your face
Me- *smiles* thanks baby
I finished eating, took a shower and did my hair and make up then posted and instagram picture.
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