Whiskey & Wine

3. Mercury

"She is leaving on a walkaway
She is leaving me in disarray
In the absence of a place to be
She stands there looking back at me
Hesitates, and then turns away
She'll change so suddenly
She's just like mercury
But she's alright with me"

Bucky was tired.

Too much alcohol. Too much cocaine. Too much of everything. Excess was the name of the game, but he was tired of playing.

The other guys in the band had their shit together. Clint had Laura. Two good-looking kids. He had a life off the road. Something worthy of coming home to after months of touring.

Steve had Peg. Together since high school, she understood him. Respected his line of work. A detective with the Brooklyn PD, she had a life of her own, but she was always there when it was all said and done.

What in the hell did Bucky have? Not a damn thing.

He'd had Corine. Once upon a time, they'd been happy. He tried to remember, but his brain was foggy as he rolled out of bed. Glancing at his phone, he groaned loudly. 3 PM. He had to be at the studio.

Twenty minutes later, he was pulling on his leather jacket as he climbed onto the dark blue Harley and sped down the road to the studio, hoping the guys wouldn't give him hell for being so damn late.

Steve was strumming a tune while Peggy was stretched across the floor, her eyes closed as she hummed along. Lila and Nathan ran around, laughing as a harassed looking Laura chased after.

Clint tapped his sticks on the table, a dazed look in his eyes.

Of course they'd been waiting. They always were, weren't they? Corine closed the door behind and sighed heavily. "Jesus, Barnes," she shook her head, "two hours late?"

Leave it to her to be the one to give him shit. No one put up with him less than her. She knew him, understood him. She saw right through him, through all of the bullshit.

"Passed out," he muttered and she rolled her eyes. "Of course you did, James." James. She always called him James when she was annoyed with him. Which lately, was all the time. Yeah, Bucky was burnt out.

"Get it together. You have two tracks to lay down. Hopefully three. The label is counting on it. And it's your money. So get it done."

Somehow he managed it, two complete vocal tracks. He thought Corine would be impressed, but she wasn't. He should have known. "I think I can manage one more," he called out. "It's your money," she repeated.

Typical Corine.

She wanted to be impressed. But Corine was just as tired as Bucky was. Retirement seemed possible, hopefully after this album was complete. Too many years. Too much James Barnes.

She hated it, what he'd become. So she learned to tune it out. The rock and roll lifestyle wasn't her lifestyle. And watching Bucky self-destruct wasn't something she wanted to keep doing.

She'd tell her boss soon, that she was ready to walk. Then she'd have to tell the boys. She knew there'd be hell to pay. But she needed to walk.

"One more take," Clint sighed into the mic and it pulled Corine from her thoughts. Bucky was fading already, burning himself out. He'd burn his damn voice out too, she was sure of that. "Just call it," she told him.

"Nah, nah!," Bucky called out, "one more take, Rinnie. I got this."

She sighed heavily but nodded to Clint. "Let 'em have one more. But that's it. Label's gonna kill me."

Clint gave her the thumbs up and leaned into the mic. "One more, Barnes. We're all tired and my kids are destroying the place." Bucky smiled a bit, returning a thumbs up of his own.

"Playback."

"She is trapped inside a month of grey
And they take a little every day
She is a victim of her own responses
Shackled to a heart that wants to settle
And then runs away
It's a sin to be fading endlessly
Yeah, but she's alright with me"

Corine stopped. Another, she thought. It had to be.

Weren't they all? For how long?

"She is leaving on a walkaway
She is leaving me in disarray
In the absence of a place to be
She stands there looking back at me
Hesitates, and then turns away
She'll change so suddenly
She's just like mercury
Yeah, but she's alright with me"

God, it hurt Bucky. The lyrics. But he'd seen it, hadn't he? The way she'd been pulling back, doing less and less. He was sure he was right and the song was penned in less than an hour. It was how he felt, that she was leaving.

She was like mercury, changing. And it broke him every time he thought about it. About losing her again.

But Corine would be gone and he'd be left to pick up the broken pieces this time.