Behind The Mask

Chapter 4

How could Danny be gone? The first day I get out of the hospital and everything is already moving in the wrong direction. How could my life have come to this? I was just a normal kid a month ago and now I am weighed down with the effects of losing a loved one and a dear friend.  I cleared my foggy mind and returned to watching another episode of Voltron. 

A knife lay right beside me, sparking a constant debate that was battleing in my mind for the right decision. I slowly wrapped my hand around the decorative brown handle of the knife and picked it up ever so slowly. Emotions started pouring out of me that I could not explain, but I didn't want to explain them either because whatever happened now, did not matter. As I brought it to my chest a slight knock could be heard on my door. 

I started heaving in air as I panicked and shoved the knife under my bedsheets. "Come in," I said as sweet and innocently as I could. John's mom walked in with her flowing blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She was truly beatuiful not only on the outside, but on the inside too. I had learned over the past twenty-four hours that when I was feeling down, she was always the right person to go to. She knew how to cheer me up and it felt as if I had known her my whole lifetime. 

"I know you are sad that Danny has left this world," she said in a tone that matched mine, "but, we got you an appointment this weekend to go to the hospital and get a prosthetic leg so you can walk again." This genuinely made me happy because over the past couple of weeks not being able to walk had become a huge burden that I was more than ready to get rid of. John's  family had tried to include me in activities, but when you can only get into wheel chair accessible places, your options are greatly limited.

For a second I felt tears pull at the edge of my eyes but I quickly wiped them away. I could not tell if the tears were for how joyful I was because I would be able to walk again, or if they were because I was going to have to go back to the same hospital that my mom was murdered in. I thanked John's mom and tried to get her out of the room as quickly as possible so I could have some time to myself to fully process my conflicting emotions. I grabbed the knife and took another long stare at it before placing it in one of my bottom drawers, begging that I would never come that close to suicide again. 

My mind raced as I was already having flashbacks to the final moments of my moms life. I repeated them over and over in my mind thinking of how I could have jumped in front of her to exchange her life for mine. How precious she was to the world, and now, everyone was left with me to deal with. I shut the T.V. off and slammed my head into my pillow out of frustration. The cold cushioning engulfed my face in a wave of relief. My heavy eye lids slowly shut leaving me asleep in this bed that wasn't mine and in a world I didn't belong in.

It was the weekend and it was finally time for me to get my new leg. It had been an emotional couple of days, but I had been able to keep the fancy knife locked away in my drawer, leaving only the scars of old cuts to remain on my wrist. The car ride to the hospital was an emotional reck for me. I wiped my eyes on my dry hoodie sleeve. My eyes were red from the constant stream of tears that flowed down my broken body, but other than that I looked acceptable. 

The white building towered over me and horrid memories flooded my mind in a never ending wave. I was greeted by a familiar looking nurse who immediately handed my a box and said, "On your rush to get out of this place, you forgot to get the package your mom left for you." The familiar wrapping rustled in my shaking hands as I was hit with even more memories of my lovely mother. I was put in a room near the front door and the last thing I could remember was a mask going over my face, slowly removing all sensation from my body. 

I woke up sometime later that day to see a mechanical leg was on and was relived the operation had gone smoothly. No light found it's way to this room so it was definitely late at night. All of John's family was sitting in the room sleeping, including John's sister who I had never seen before. She was a red head with dark blue eyes who appeared to be kind of short, unlike the rest of John's family. 

My mind flashed an image in front of me consisting of my mom being stabbed multiple times by the masked criminal. I let out a scream of fright and quickly cupped my mouth with my hand in an attempt to not wake anyone up. My attempts however, were not of any effectiveness because shortly after John's whole family woke up. There eyes had bags underneath them and it was clear they had stayed up late tonight. John's mom sprung up from her seat and rushed to the side of my blue hospital bed. "Are you okay?" She asked the question in a fast hushed voice. 

"I'm fine," I replied. "When can we leave the hospital?"

"Probably tomorrow. Now get some rest." She tucked the sheets over me and sat back down in her chair before dozing off again. That morning we left the hospital and on the way out I walked to the car, getting used to the feel of it. It came a slight spring at every step, but I didn't mind it. We got into the worn red car we arrived in yesterday. We drove for what felt like an hour before stopping at a place unknown to me. "Aaron," John's mom said referring to me, "welcome to your mom's funeral."