How It Should Have Ended (A Ji Hoo and Jan Di Story)

Chapter 13

"Hey," Jun Pyo greeted, as he walked towards his best friend. Ji Hoo was crouched on the ground, holding a bag of sliced bread. He was feeding the fish in the pond in front of him. The fish nibbled hungrily at the pieces of bread, and in less than five minutes the bag he was holding was empty. Ji Hoo stood up, brushed the crumbs off his pants, and sat on a nearby bench.

"Sorry about my mom." Jun Pyo continued. "I wasn't expecting her to actually come after you."

Ji Hoo stayed silent. His eyes were closed, his head tilted back.

"Why didn't you come visit?"

Jun Pyo was taken aback. "Huh?"

"Why didn't you come visit her, even once?" Ji Hoo did not beat around the bush.

Jun Pyo sat there, unable to speak. He was contemplating how to answer. Finally, he lowered his head. "I was afraid."

Ji Hoo opened his eyes. "Afraid?"

Jun Pyo nodded. "I was afraid." He turned away, unable to meet his friend's eyes. "I had made the decision to leave for four years. I was afraid that if I went back and saw her, even once, that I wouldn't want to leave. That I would lose my resolve. Then I wouldn't have been able to stick to my plan." He stared at a woman struggling to push a stroller through the grass across the pond. "I asked her to visit several times but she never did." They both sat silent for a few minutes. Finally, he turned to his friend. "Tell me, Ji Hoo...did anything happen between the two of you while I was gone?"

"No." Ji Hoo's answer was quick. Certain. "Why do you ask?"

"Jan Di seems different...."

"You're just not used to her."

"I should be."

"Yes, you should." Ji Hoo placed a gentle arm on his shoulder. "You will. Give it time."

Jun Pyo cracked a smile, then his face turned serious. "I know you still have feelings for her, and yet you're always helping us get back together. Don't you think it would be a lot easier for you to win her over if you just let us fight?"

"I don't want to win her that way." Ji Hoo's gaze was far away. "I don't want her to go to me just because she's mad at you, or because she can't have you." He paused. "If she comes to me, I want it to be because she wanted to, because she fully and completely loved me and not because she had no choice."

Jun Pyo nodded slowly. In a way, he understood. He had always wondered why Ji Hoo never took advantage of their situation. "Don't you want to fight for her?"

Ji Hoo ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "It's ok to fight for someone who loves you. It's not ok to fight for someone to love you. There's a huge difference." His words were filled with sadness. "Jan Di loves you. I never really stood a chance." He said the last words almost in a whisper. His fingers went to the ring around his neck.

Jun Pyo thought about how Jan Di had been acting lately. Somewhere deep inside of him stirred restlessly, as if warning him. Somehow, he wasn't sure that Jan Di loved him completely. If she ever did. She wasn't much for expressing or telling her feelings out loud. He picked up a rock and started skipping it across the pond. "I think I'll ask her to move to New York with me."

Ji Hoo glanced at him, but he didn't say anything.

"I like it there, you know? I like the people, the pace of life, everything."

"Do you think she'd like it there too?" Ji Hoo asked.

Jun Pyo sighed. "I don't know. Eventually, she might." He put an arm around Ji Hoo.