How It Should Have Ended (A Ji Hoo and Jan Di Story)

Chapter 15

It was exactly one week since his ultimatum to Jan Di. Jun Pyo stood in front of Namsan tower, pacing uneasily back and forth. He kept glancing at his watch. It wasn't five o'clock yet. Jan Di still had time. Still, he couldn't help but be nervous. He wasn't so sure of himself lately anymore. Something had definitely changed between them. He wished it was back to the good old days when he just took what he wanted, or pursued it relentlessly until he had it. He had grown up a little these past few years. If there was one thing he knew he shouldn't force, it's love. To force someone to love you and be with you mainly because of guilt – it would not be love. Even he knew that kind of relationship would just make both of them miserable. Still, he couldn't imagine losing her. He would have to move away so as never to see her again.

He glanced at his watch again. It was now 2 minutes past 5. He looked around and muttered a curse.

Was she really going to do this to him? He heard footsteps behind him and turned around.

There she was, slowly walking towards him, her hands deep in her pockets. She had a pink scarf around her neck and a matching pink hat on her head. He gave a sigh of relief. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text.

"Don't you own a watch?" he scolded, as she stopped in front of him.

Jan Di smiled, but the smile never reached her eyes. "Jun Pyo," she began, and Jun Pyo couldn't explain the sinking feeling he got in the pit of his stomach.

She took his hands and held them tight. They were cold, but not icy cold. He hadn't been waiting long.

"Gu Jun Pyo," she looked at him as she said his name, studying his eyes, his nose, his mouth, memorizing every detail of his face.

"What?" he asked, unsure of why he was trembling. It wasn't from the cold.

"I can't marry you."

The words hit him like a ton of bricks. He staggered back and almost lost his balance, but Jan Di grabbed his arm and steadied him up.

"What are you saying, Geum Jan Di?" His mind was a whirlwind of emotions. "Why are you here then?"

She gave him the saddest smile he had ever seen. "I just wanted to see you...one last time."

She took his left hand and very tenderly placed the ring and necklace he gave her on it.

He shook his head in disbelief. "Are you for real?" He took a step away from her. "Are you really saying what I think you're saying?"

She bowed her head, unable to look at him now. "I'm sorry, Gu Jun Pyo." It took all her courage to say what she had to say out loud. If she looked at him now and saw his face she might take it all back. "I did love you. I just wanted you to know that. And a part of me will always love you."

Jun Pyo didn't know whether he was angry or not. His mind was still in shock. When his senses finally recovered, he realized that he knew all along that this was coming. "Ji Hoo," he whispered.

Jan Di didn't reply. She just stared at the ground, tears streaking down her cheeks. She couldn't believe what she just did. "I'm sorry," she kept muttering.

Jun Pyo exhaled loudly, lifted his chin and started walking away from her.

"You'll regret this," he said, though Jan Di could tell he didn't mean it as a threat.

She collapsed on the ground and started sobbing hysterically.

...

Ji Hoo sat on his front porch playing his violin. He had been playing a lot lately – it helped him relax. He was roughly aware of the ultimatum Jun Pyo had placed on Jan Di. Jun Pyo had called him right after, and had told him about it. They both decided to give her some space, even though she didn't ask him to. Jun Pyo had told him that if she showed up at 5, then she was still his. He had gotten his text message a few minutes after 5. All it said was, "She's here", but it felt as though someone had punched him in the gut. A part of him still hoped...but once again, his hope had been dashed.

He looked at his watch. It was almost half past 6. He continued playing a sad, sweet melody that he thought was perfect for what he was feeling at the moment. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the melody.

When he opened his eyes, he found Jan Di standing in front of him.

She was crying, and her eyes were puffy, as though she had been crying for hours. He put his violin down and walked towards her to pull her in for a hug, to comfort her, but she raised her hands up to stop him. A flash of hurt briefly registered on his face. Jan Di shook her head. If she didn't say this now, while she had the courage to do so, she would never be able to say it.

She took a deep breath, wiped the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve and looked straight at him.

Ji Hoo stood there nervously, afraid of what was coming. Was she saying goodbye? Was this it?

"I chose you," she said, staring into his eyes.

His face registered the look of utter surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head.

"No, please, let me finish. Or I'll never be able to say this again."

Ji Hoo stood still as a statue, lips pursed, afraid to move.

"I chose you, Ji Hoo. I couldn't marry Jun Pyo. Not when my heart belonged to you."

Ji Hoo wasn't sure if he was dreaming or having hallucinations again. Still, he didn't move. His face was expressionless.

"I fell in love with you because of the million things you never knew you were doing," she continued, holding back tears. "When I thought about my happiest moments, I saw you there with me. When I thought about the saddest times in my life, you were there to comfort me. You've always done things for me without expecting anything back. You've wiped away my tears, held my hand, and you've given me strength I never knew I had. You loved me even when I was unlovable. I have completely fallen in love with you. Everything you do, everything you say, everything you are. You're my first thought in the morning, and my last thought before I fall asleep, and you're my every thought in between." She stepped even closer to him, until she was a feet away from him. "I realized now, that I can't live without you." He stood there, looking at her, still unmoving. Jan Di had never spilled out her emotions before. Nor had she ever made a confession like this before, considering she wasn't sure how Ji Hoo felt about her now. She decided to go for broke. "I just wish I realized this earlier," she said, regretfully. "I just hope that one day, you'll learn to love me again." She turned away from him, unable to face him any longer.

There, she had spilled her heart out. She had said what she needed to say. She started walking away from him, tears still streaming down her face.

"I never stopped," she heard him say, though it was so soft she thought she imagined it. She turned to face him and he was looking straight at her.

"I have loved you from afar for so long, I can't even remember a time when I didn't love you." He said this with a sad smile.

Jan Di's heart leapt. She was sure it was doing somersaults in her chest. She felt overwhelmed with relief and her heart filled with joy.

Unable to contain herself any longer, she walked a few steps towards him, cupped his face with her hands, and kissed him softly on the lips.