ANgeLS aMoNg DEMONS

And Its Off To Hell I Go

DEAN COULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME.
I- I almost wished the same went for Sam. So that I didn't have to see - see the utter, broken devastation burning in his eyes. Guilt. It was setting in already - his, and mine, our twinship for once a burden, our similarity a curse because I knew how he was feeling; and it was pretty bad, if I knew him at all. For the emotional torture in store for my twin, the most fundamentally sensitive Winchester brother. The three of us, soon to be two. Because Sam's death wasn't something I could just allow to happen. When that demon used the vampires to lure us from the bunker...then when it got hold of the machete Dean had bought to deal with the problem that wasn't the real problem...I looked at Sam's neck. A neck that had been all too bare an hour ago, tops. Mess he'd been - it'd taken something special to mend that. My soul. The soul of Nova Winchester; I'd killed so many of its demons Hell had been all too happy to take me, but that didn't mean they'd have agreed to anything.
I was not really in a state to negotiate and they'd known it.
I swallowed the stiff bile in my throat. Because it'd been...special. To get them to agree.
Lucifer's Cage. I'd be spending eternity with the Devil as my own personal torturer.
Crowley's smirk as he'd suggested it, as I pounced on the idea - crying, and choking on the words - it would live to humiliate me in the eternity of the Pit. All that had mattered was Sam. There was nothing I wouldn't do for my family.
Dean wasn't looking at me because his dad had done it for him. Because he'd done it for Sam. Because that had damn near ended the world. He was afraid- because if one Winchester brother was the Righteous Man, and the other Lucifer's True Vessel... what on earth or below it would happen to the third?
Torture. I remind myself. There could be nothing special happening to me in Hell. Maybe just me being ripped apart by Satan for....no. I couldn't wrap my mind around eternity. I couldn't be dead forever, right? Or did I have to be because the lengths Sam and Dean would go to to get me out? Consequences. Sam was still kicking, but that just meant one extra brother hunting for a way to spring me from the depths of Hell. And Dean...hadn't even really been able to celebrate because under no natural circumstances to people grow back their heads...it had to be unnatural, the supernatural, and we killed the supernatural. It was the only thing we knew, black, and white, though grey was certainly starting to trickle in. Some demons still had it out for Dean for shoving the First Blade into their precious Queen, Knight of Hell Abbadon. The worst thing was the whole affair was executed by a fanatic over some stale revenge.
Affair. Sam had lost his head.
I gagged.
It was instant; the Impala screeched to a halt on the side of the abandoned highway - instant, but I was already plunging to the door even before it stopped, dropping to the ground a few metres away to vomit, to throw up my disgust at my brother's- my twin's - severed neck - and my fear. My toxic, twisting, treacherous terror. Because who knew what Hell would do to me? I'm not...human. Not completely. I'm not a nephilim either, but I do possess angelic grace, thanks to Mary agreeing to be possessed briefly to mend the spinal injuries in the child she was carrying, me, that could potentially have taken the lifes of both of us with the cruel dagger of Fate...but not just any angel. The name Gadreel meant little to me in the ways of him being my father, in a manner, but I did know he'd tricked Sam, and used him to murder Kevin, and I knew he'd sacrificed himself and made half amends in his final moments but... Kevin hadn't deserved to die. It was so unfair. Nice though Heaven was.
The angels stole me from my crib seconds before Azazel had shown up, because I was the younger twin and demon blood mixed with angel grace was not an experiment they wanted to carry out. It was not long ago when Dean had began to regain memory of a second child, and asked Cass to make the memory more clear with his mind control. There'd been no need - Cass had known who I was and like the good angel he was, he'd arranged that I be bought down from Heaven, to live among the humans as a living soul rather than like a dead one. It'd been a strange reunion, especially as I was technically in a vessel as my body was still a baby, and a skeleton.
Dean kept making jokes about how my name was strange - almost as strange as someone called "Misha". I never got to the bottom of who this "Misha" was exactly, because whenever I asked both boys seemed to develop some sort of brain explosion and couldn't seem to get the words out. I even asked Cass, but his answer, though flat and explanatory in nature, made zero sense.
In Heaven I'd been Novael, but seeing as I no longer was with God - no one was with God, because God was no longer with us - not in Heaven and certainly not apparent on earth- I'd shortened it. Cass had allowed the same to happen to him in spite of his, for the most part, unwavering faith in the man (who currently wasn't) in the sky. It was easier to say and more practical when Sam or Dean was yelling to warn me that a fang was about to make a meal out of my jugular. But neither of us - neither of us had been able to save Sam this time, not before it was too late - not before drastic measures had to be taken.
'I did what I had to do.' I stare desperately at Dean - he'd followed me out of the car but wasn't coming any closer, leaning against Baby with that fake, still face that told me more about his pain than any tears. 'I did what had to be done.'
'It wasn't your call to make!' He says roughly. Like there's a choice here - like the other option wasn't a body in a trunk and me losing both brothers in one fell swoop. Because Dean would never come back from it. Not again. And he couldn't sell his soul again - no demon would take it, and anyways I would never let him.
'It was the only call-' I wipe my lip. 'Dean-' But he's gone, walking round the side of his car and slamming the door shut with him inside. I let out a feathery breath. 'Sam-'
I'm afraid to look at him.
But suddenly he's hugging me - he's never done it before, because holding someone tight for a few minutes seemed to me as an odd, vaguely disturbing thing to do - made me uncomfortable- not much cause for hugging in Heaven - but this time I breathed in the smell of his clothes and found it was quite pleasant. To be close to someone.
'When they take you to Hell-' He moves me out to look into my green eyes. 'Don't give in. Don't you give in. We'll get you out, I swear.'
There is more than a touch of sadness in my voice as I tilt my head to look at Dean's ramrod straight silhouette in the shadows of the car. 'Dean gave in. And he's Dean. I'm half the man he is - if that.' Sam steps back, opening his mouth to argue - even though what I say is true. 'At what cost, Sammy- Sam? What would be the price?'
He sets his jaw. 'I don't- I don't know, Nova. I don't care. We'll find a way.'
I scuff my boots against the scrubby, dead grass of the layby.
'I do.' I give him one last, searching look. 'Make sure- Sam, make sure he-' I toss a glance in Dean's direction. 'He can't give in to the Mark. I don't want him joining me.'
He nods, a tilt of his head so his ruffled hair shifts slightly and then waves in an empty wind.
'Nova...'
'Nova!'
There's a slightly louder than usual flap of wings and Castiel's gruff voice is one of the only good things I've heard all day. I spin to face my best friend and my heart stutters in my chest. We'd been close in Heaven - even when the other Angels had began to talk about him in the most vile manner- I'd never believed it of him. He'd taken two humans into his charge like the perfect Shepard - no easy task. These were the Winchesters.
When he'd come and got me, he'd said he should have known, had always been bugged by the similarities between us, the color of my eyes, matching my elder brother's exactly. But he wasn't here to take me to meet my blood family this time. He was here to say goodbye.
'Dean called me.' He snapped, striding forward to take my face between his index finger and thumb, his trench coat flapping. 'He told me you sold your soul to save Sam.' As he spoke he gave the middle Winchester a cursory once over. 'I'm fairly certain that makes all of you now.'
Satisfied my eyes weren't already going black, or whatever he was doing while scanning my face, he stepped back. Then he took his trenchcoat off in a quick, fluid motion, and wrapped it around my shoulders. 'For Hell. I know sometimes you humans can draw strength from objects in times of trouble. The Amulet, for example.' He said. Then he stepped back.
Sam was looking confused. I looked rather stupid, with the coat way too large for my small frame.
'You're just...Okay with this?'
At this Dean materialised, staring long and hard at his makeshift brother. 'Cass. Has Heaven been messing around with your emotions again?'
'Emotions are human things. I am an Angel.' Cass looks slightly confused. He clears his throat. 'No, Dean. I merely have faith that this won't be along. You'll find a way to get him out, you always do. And if all else fails...I gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition, Dean. I can do it again.'
There is a tight silence.
'Are you sure you're okay, Cass? You're...acting funny...talking funny.'
'Yes. Dean. I'm fine. It's Novael we should be worrying about, he's about to go to Hell.'
We all squinted at the odd Angel for a few more heartbeats, then Sam turns to me. 'How long have you got?'
I swallow. Because it's not long - not long at all. 'They said- I asked if I could see Cass again. That's all.'
Dean swore, bloody and vicious. Sam stumbled back. Cass looked stricken. 'I should have- I shouldn't have come-'
I shake my head wearily. 'It'd only have been a few-'
It was at that moment Dean dived for Cass, slamming him to the dirt. He gripped him by the collar and hoisted him up again, the angel blade digging into his shirt.
'Dean!' Sam started-
'You son of a bitch.' He growled. 'You stupid, stupid black eyed son of a bitch. Get the Hell out of my friends vessel.'
A low laugh flexed from Cass' jawline. 'Awwwww, you two are no fun. Figured this was the safest suit to approach you in. Anything else would get an angel blade straight in the-' They winced as he dug the point in further. 'You won't kill your little... friend, will you?'
For a few heartbeats he stood - but that wasn't indecision on his face - it was determation. Sam seemed to realise this at the same moment I did - and he lunged forward and pulled Dean from having any contact with the demon riding my friend's skin. For a horrible moment I thought Dean was going to fight it, was going to kill the demon, regardless, he certainly looked pissed off enough - but just as Sam was preparing to try to contain the Mark and probably get himself killed in the process, I think he made a decision. Cass, forever, over me, for a few more heartbeats. That furious light burning in his eyes didn't fade, but he put the Angel blade back in his jacket.
'You're here for me.' I step forward. 'I'll come quietly.'
The monster wearing Castiel like an oversized shirt stepped forward yo meet me, and I cringed at his cold touch, the stale breath on my flushed face, as broke my neck as suddenly as if he'd dropped a plate on the cold slabs.

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