you were mine ↝ auston matthews

one

alora hopkins

auston matthews was my first love. we grew up together in scottsdale, arizona. our parents were really great friends and we lived next door to each other. we were best friends up until high school. sophomore year auston admitted how he felt about me. i was clueless to how he felt. i had been crushing on him ever since we were little kids and i guess i thought it was simply impossible for someone to like me back.

relationships weren't exactly something that worked well for me. freshman year of high school this boy asked me to homecoming and i had been at my locker with auston and auston got so mad at the kid. i felt bad for him. i hadn't understood why auston reacted the way he did until he told me that he liked me.

once we had gotten together sophomore year i thought we could get through everything together. i thought we would be together forever. but that was stupid of me to think.

the last few months of our senior year were the worst months of my life. auston started acting weird. he was secretive and he was very shut off from me. then a week after i confronted him about the way he'd been acting, he broke up with me. and i could never forget his words that night. and how angry he was at me. 

it was night he broke my heart into a million pieces.

"i never loved you"

he left me stunned and heartbroken standing in the rain outside my house. i cried myself to sleep for nights. and what made things worse was that days after he broke up with me he was already with someone new. someone better than me.

auston walked into the school holding hands with none other than jordyn johnson. the girl who wanted nothing more than to hurt me. and fortunately for her it worked out. they proceeded to walk down the hall and right as they were passing my locker jordyn pulled auston in for a kiss. 

the moment it happened i felt like i couldn't breathe. i felt like i was suffocating. the boy i loved locked lips with another.

what topped it off was that he looked right into my eyes after it. his face held no emotion and neither did his eyes. i just assumed that he really never did love me and that i truly meant nothing to him. things were never the same after that. our families drifted apart and when the 2015 nhl draft came around auston left. after that day we never had any contact with each other. 

although auston was no longer in scottsdale he was still the talk of the town. he was everywhere. his face was always in our local newspaper and his face was almost always on our town new station. after all he was the new star player of the toronto maple leafs. the town was very proud of him. and i do hate to admit it but i was really proud of him too. he may have hurt me but it was one of his dreams. one of the things he wanted so badly. 

i stayed in scottsdale for a year after that. i went to community college before i transfered to college in dallas, texas. 

and in dallas i made my home. 

i met my wonderful friends maggie, jamie, tyler, scout, and hallie. they were the people who were always there for me. i surprised myself by becoming friends with jamie benn and tyler seguin. it didn't occur to me that i'd ever be friends with someone who plays in the nhl. i met them through hallie. hallie had been childhood friends with jamie and one night we all went out for drinks and they were pretty fun to be around. tyler and i got very close. i could tell him anything and he would just be there to listen and he didn't judge one bit. tyler became my best friend. and he was very protective of me. 

a few months back i came close to running into auston. tyler wanted me to drop him off and pick him up at the arena for his game and i agreed to it. i had dropped him off and he got out of the car and grabbed his stuff and went into the arena. but just before i pulled away i saw tylers phone sitting on the passenger's seat. it must have fallen out of his pocket. so i had to run into the arena and find him to give him his phone. many of the workers knew me since i would come with tyler a lot. they let me down to the locker rooms and as i turned down the hallway that was one of the ways to get to the stars locker room i saw him. 

he was with his teammates and he looked up at me for a split second before i went running in the other direction. and when i made it to tyler he sensed something was wrong. "what's wrong? did something happen?" tyler asked me frantically. 

i took a deep breath, "did you forget what team you were playing tonight? did you forget who's on that team? because i nearly came close to seeing him again. and i don't want to go through that again. i can't and i won't. here's your phone and i'm sorry but you'll have to find someone else who can pick you up after the game because i can't. goodbye tyler"

i may have been too harsh on him but seeing auston, it did something to me. it brought up all the bad memories of my high school years. and once again i felt like i was being sucked back into that dark time of my life. the time where i felt so alone and so hurt. it's like it snapped something in me and i almost couldn't breath. i went home that night and i cried myself to sleep. and that was something i hadn't done since the breakup.