Love at First Flight

Chapter 3: goodbye

I walk over to my grandpa and zoey. I give zoey a hug as she walks forward leaving pops at the table.

"Hey there sweetpea! You all packed already. I hate to see you go so soon" Zoey said with a frown.

"Yeah just saying goodbye to everyone before I head out." I say

"You better talk to pops you already know how much he's going to miss you. It's already hard on him today, did you forget your momma passed away a year ago today? Why out of all days this one?" Zoey says as she gets upset.

I pause and stare blankly at her. Pulling myself together I say "I need to get away from everything.. I'm not happy anymore Zoey and you know that. Yes, I miss momma but staying here and walking around this town doesn't make me feel any better. Everywhere—"

I hesitate and Zoey hugs me and pulls away.
"Everywhere I go shes there. Everywhere I walk I see her and it's killing me. I see her when I come in here and see Sue, I literally can hear her in the way nana laughs. I can see her in the way you smile. I just need a break. I cant keep feeling stuck in this place of hurt. I need to let go, i need to move on. Momma was the only person who taught me how to love."

Zoey says nothing instead wipes the tears that I've been trying to hold on off of my face. Simply says "I love you. Momma would be so proud of you"

Zoey walks away and let's me go with pops. I sit down at the table with him. It's quiet for a few seconds and I'm waiting till he explodes at me but instead he grabs my hand and says,

"I miss her too sweetpea, nana and her were my whole world. I remember the day she was born it was one of the best days of my life. You always think that you are going to go before your own kids."  Tears fill his eyes. "I've known her since she was a tiny ole thing. I watched her grow up, take her first steps, first dance, everything."

I sit there quietly listening, this was the first time pops has spoken of momma since she passed.

"I know I don't talk about her much, it's just so hard for me to move on. I don't want you to think that I'm trying to forget her, I'm trying to learn how to live without her being here. It's like learning how to ride a bike and move forward with life. I've known her whole life and she's gone, she's not coming back."

I hug him and I hear him break down in tears. Tears flood mine as I hear him weep.

I pull away and look at him and say,
"She was all I knew, I didn't know what life was without her. She was my mother. That is the sharpest pain ever. I've been trying to figure out if this will ever get easier but it doesn't. Everyone is stuck on it. I miss her so much and I don't think I've let myself grieve pops"

"You know I've been thinking the same thing, but I overheard your conversation with Zoey and how you said she's everywhere. You are right and that's not a bad thing. Momma is following you and with you everywhere you go. You look so much like her sweetpea, you are just like her too" he says as he puts his hand on my cheek as tears rush down my face.

I smile and grab his hand "I love you so much" I say "I love you too, I have something for you before you go" he pulls out a small wooden box from his pocket and hands me it. I stare at him and open the box gently and see her necklace she always wore and never took off. It was a beautiful gold necklace with a heart shaped locket. Engraved on it was an "s"

"Pops...I cant" I say touching the necklace. "Yes you can, I'm sure she'd want you to have it. You do know why she loves it so much?" He says smiling

"No, I always thought it was an s for sue.." I say confused.

"The s is for sunshine. When your mom found out she was pregnant with you she would always sing...

You are my sunshine, My only sunshine
You make me happy, When skies are gray, You'll never know dear, How much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away.

"After you were born there was something wrong sweetie, you weren't supposed to be survive. The longest you had was 3 days, you had a heart defect and your heart wouldn't beat on it's own. Your momma never left you and she would always sing this to you and pray about it. You lived and she always called you her sunshine. I got her this necklace and she never took it off. She loved you oh so much"

I sat there and cried. I hugged him tight and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you so much, for everything you do for me."

"I love you sunshine..be careful out there. I'll be here when you get back." He said as I let go of his hug and grabbed my food and walked out.

"Here we go..." I got in my car and drove. The song sunshine came on the radio. I turned it up.
"I love you mama" I whispered as I drove...