What's Wrong With Me?

The beginning?

Maybe I should start where it all started.

The stress in my life started from as young as I can remember which is around five years old. It was my dad that made it stressful. There's something odd about him that even today I have no idea what it is. With him it's like everything has to be a certain way; his way. And if it's not he'll get angry.

I had to wake up earlyish in the morning for school and go into the dining room where me, my little sister and my mum would eat breakfast. My dad would walk through the dining room about 10 minutes into while were eating and go out the back door. When he came in we would have to say good morning to him and if we didn't he would get angry, slam the door when he went out and not speak to us all day. My dad never ate breakfast with us. He would disappear down the shed for the whole morning and I would have to go outside into the shed to say goodbye to him. Sometimes he would be sitting in the living room eating his breakfast. When my dad was employed, I would get home from school at 3pm and mum would meet me from my bus stop. She would walk with me home and dad didn't come home until 6pm.

When he got home we had to ask him how his day was at work or he would get angry and not speak. But when we did ask he would complain about something that happened while walking out the back door so we couldn't hear what he said. Then he would disappear down the shed for an hour and me or my little sister had to go and get him at 7pm to eat dinner. We would eat Dinner and dad would flick through channel's constantly and probably leave it on the sports channel if racing was on. I had to eat all my food or he would shout at me and wouldn't stop shouting until I ate it all. Still today, even with dad gone, I eat everything on my plate even if I can't manage it and end up puking because I'm so full. He scared me so much that it has become a permanent need.