What's Wrong With Me?

The Shed..?

I mentioned a lot in the last chapter about my dad constantly going into the shed and I thought I should explain. Well when I was younger I never knew why he was down there I just accepted it as it was. But recently I found out he smokes weed. When mum forced him out the house he left behind a load of weed. And even more recent, when my sister used to go to see dad, discovered a leather wallet with a load of weed in it. My dad is also a huge alcoholic, he has been since he was a teenager and he's now 50. I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere that doing both weed and alcohol can cause really bad paranoia or something which would explain things that I'll tell you later.

My dad would come home drunk a lot and he would smash loads of stuff. Which next morning mum would say to me and my sister that she "accidentally dropped it" just to cover up what my dad did.

So how did a mostly unemployed middle aged man afford his alcohol and weed? Well being the child I was, I loved my teddies. I felt so scared at home, but I was always comforted by my teddies and everyone would buy me them. But sometimes a bunch of them would disappear. And obviously, being as attached to them as I was, I noticed. I then discovered that my dad would take them from my room, without even asking, and sell them for real cheap on eBay and keep the money for himself. I have a very strong bond with everything I own (i don't actually know why) and so if something was taken it really stressed me out. I was too scared to confront him so I used to go into the attic where he hid them and steal them back. They wouldn't sell anyway, because they're old and much loved by me. They may mean a lot to me but they don't mean much to other people. It wasn't just my stuff. When he and mum split he took loads of her stuff with him, including some sort of war item worth a lot which he sold for cheap.

I don't know why he thought he could take our stuff like that.