I had no idea what to do after that. The days following I was so confused on my feelings because I knew I had feelings for Nikki but I still loved Kenzy. I never left Kenzy for good, although we had an on and off relationship. But this time was different. Nikki was there for me. She had good vibes only and really seemed to care. When Kenzy got out of Rogers I confronted her and brought up that we might need to break up. I said it wouldn't be forever and that in the future there might be a chance. She suspected I fell for someone but I denied it. On new years it was my decision day. At 12am I had to decide whether to stay or leave. We went to a party at West Allis Central High school for New Years Eve. But uh, I invited Nikki and that didn't go so well. It was really stressful. She fell asleep at my friend jasmines, where we both were after the party. I snuck in the bathroom and called Nikki to help me feel better. I went back into the bedroom where Jasmine and Kenzy were and she woke up and we started fighting about how I was on call with Nikki. I told her that we were done. It hurt like hell because she took up a year and four months of my life, I lost my "virginity" to her and I went on my first real date with her. But I knew it had to be done.
A few days later on the 4th of January I asked Nikki out. I was so scared she would say no to me and basically rip my heart out. My heart felt as if I was jumping off a building and panicking. I knew I annoyed her so much and I knew she kinda liked me, but I didn't think she'd want to be involved in all my emotional issues and drama. But she said actually said yes to being my girlfriend. Pretty much every night I'd fall asleep on call with her and oh my God she is so cute when she is sleeping. Not being creepy, just being honest. She is my girlfriend after all. So I continued to go over to her house every weekend but I always had to climb in through the window so her dad wouldn't find out because if he did we both knew he would beat her ass. One night I was over and she went through a memory box she had in her closet. It seemed to upset her so I tried to cheer her up. She cried in my arms for the first time and she never cries in front of people so I of course felt awful but at the same time she obviously trusted me enough to break down in front of me. Afterwards, we cuddled and ended up fucking haha. But that wasn't all that important. I knew she had emotional issues but I knew I'd stay through all of it. Because I was starting to realize I didn't just have feelings. But that I was in love with her.
As with any relationship I've been in, we had already figured out some songs of ours. "You make me wanna", by somo was our first because it basically described the situation of me falling for Nikki while I still loved Kenzy. Our second song which is a weird couples song was, "Walk." Our favorite part where we have a little dance thingy is, "I walk around like that nigga, finger on the trigger, if a nigga want some smoke I let this choppa eat his liver, BOO!" So every so often we'd look at each other and cover our faces and go "BOO", referencing the song. We acted like crazy best friends all the time and she made my sadness go away. She would support me every time I'd become upset and she worked on teaching me on how to be a better me. She understood and only wanted what was best for me. I still love that about her. My favorite cute thing that she does is when she says "bop bop." It's like her thing. Anyway, she is an actress and a singer, it is her passion, so she auditioned for Cinderella the musical our school was doing. I had originally planned on auditioning, I even had my song prepared. But my mom ruined it by fighting with me and making me suicidal the night of. On a separate note, Nikki is such an amazing singer. She got the role of one of the bitchy step sisters. I went to the first rehearsal and the next and pretty much every day. The first day I was so nervous because I had to sit in the choir room with the rest of the cast and I was planning on being on crew so I felt very out of place. Dear God the first day was a mess, they had so much work to do to learn their songs and actually make it sound good.
I got to see Nikki every day at school and after during rehearsals. We would sit and record ourselves and just have a fun time. I felt accepted by the crew because they were all excited about Nikki and I being together. I loved hearing her sing her solo because she had to try and get the character voice right so she had to sound "ugly", but still sound good. But then a crazy thing happened. I was a pretty innocent kid, against drugs and such. But Nikki got me into vaping with nicotine. I had a vape but no nic juice. I went from vaping 0 nic juice to 50 nic every day. I got my own juul from my friend Joe for $30 and Nikki carved our saying into it. It read, " NM" "TDDUP+AT2." Well you see, after I got into that, I started smoking. Weed. BUT only out of a dab pen.
I bought a dab from Joe as well ,for another $30. Nikki bought the cart to go with it. I got high or as we say "chopped", only a few times. Nikki held onto the pen because if my mom found it I'd be dead. I sold my Smok vape in order to afford my own dab pen. I bought a dab pen and a green apple thc cart for $60 all together. Now here's where it went crazy. My friend and I were in the bathroom of our school and we got chopped together and I usually post things because I'm just that kind of person. Turns out someone reported me. Jasmine and I got pulled into room 100 by the vice principal and we got searched. They found my juul, vape juices, dab pen and the full cart. I was pulled down at 8 am and wasn't released from that room until 3 pm. It was a very long day. I convinced them Jasmine, the friend who was with me, didn't do anything and that it was all me. I was then suspended for 3 days, and I tried to hide it from my mom, but the vice principal called my mom so it was inevitable. My mom lost her shit, and we were already on bad terms, so this didn't help. Now Nikki and I were doing very well but Kenzy started intervening because little did I know, but she was the one that reported me. I ended up on pre expulsion because of her. And she caused so much stress on Nikki that Nikki would be crying all the time, scared that she'd lose me.
