Closure.

THIRTEEN

I turned in my sleep feel a heavy weight on me.

"Carlos," I shook him lightly. He didn't budge one bit.

I shook him again. "Carlos I can't breathe." I may have shook a little to hard because he rolled off the bed falling onto the floor.

I busted out laughing. "That's funny huh?" He mugs me.

I shake my head, bit my lip to ceasing my laughter. "I tried waking you up first but you didn't budge so I shook you again, this time a little to hard and well that happened."I explained through fits of laughter.

"Yeah whatever, what you wake me up for?" He plops down on the bed.

"You were all over me and I wanted to use the bathroom." I got up to go use the bathroom.

When I was done, I got back into bed snuggling up under Carlos.

"Why you all up on me now, you basically just kicked me out the bed now you wanna cuddle?" I smacked my lips.

"Don't be like that. It was an accident. You were crushing me." I said snuggling into him more.

He chuckles, "Yeah aight." Eventually we both fell back to sleep and woke up in time to have breakfast and then I needed to get to school.

"That was good." Carlos said finishing up his meal that I lovingly prepared for us well, mostly him. You know what I mean.

"Thanks baby."

"Tell me how I got so lucky. You can cook, you take care of me. Put up with my me." He pulled me by the waste towards him. I smiled a shy smile as he kissed my cheek.

"Carlos...Stop."

"No, I won't stop acknowledging the things that you do for me. I meant what I said about making it up to you. I love you. I really do. And I understand if you not ready to say it back I just need you to know how I feel." He caressed my face in his large hands.

I was speechless, surprised, shocked. Whatever you wanna call it, I was. With all that's went on in the past and now, I see that he's trying. The past six months of us reconnected and him trying to win me back and what not it's safe to say that he has been trying really hard.

I appreciate him and his efforts and the time being together and getting to know each other really add to the feelings that I had for him before graduation.

Before I found out what he did, or in his case what he was forced to do. I grew a hate towards him as a defense mechanism. In my head I hated him, I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to be around him, I didn't  want anything to do with him. 

But, in my heart I loved him. I wanted nothing more than to have his arms wrapped around me. Nothing more than feel his lips on mines. Nothing more than to feel loved by him. Nothing more than to have him around me, all the time. In my heart I missed him. 

It's not easy to move on from your first love. Carlos was no doubt my first love. He was also the cause of my first heartbreak. And maybe he was being honest when he said Brooke was blackmailing him but, I still suffered. Me. I was the one that had to get an abortion. I was almost a mother. I was the one broken. Maybe Carlos was affected but I didn't know that because he was unreachable. 

I went through all this turmoil and I thank God that I had Ashley with me because I don't think I would've made it. And going through that weakened me for a few months but it strengthened me for the rest of my life. I do not plan to hold on to that in a negative way anymore. 

I want to move on with my life and with the person that I love and that's Carlos.

________

 "It's frustrating! I take one step forward and gets kicked six feet back."

"I know how you feel but he was just trying to help. Just... Relax ok?" [sighs] 

"Fine, but I don't want to be here right now."[Walks away]

"And cut! That's a wrap guys." 

I walked off the set to gather my things to head home. Today we were filming a short film for the university head of directors. They want to release a film production for a project that has the government involved. It's huge, I over heard some people talking about it and they might be recruiting students all over the country to act in the big films, and that might include us as well.

 Making my way out of the building to get to my car. Someone stopped me.

"Aaliyah." He said.

I stopped walking as I'm face to face with Marcus. I haven't seen or spoken to him since the day Carlos and I saw him at the restaurant.

"Marcus." I adjusted the bag on my shoulder.

"Uh how have you been?"

"Great. You?"

He shrugs. "I mean I'm alive so that most count for something. Right?" I furrowed my eyebrows at his statement. I didn't understand where it would be coming from and I don't want to find out either.

"I have to go so... I guess I'll see you around." I walked vastly to my car in the student car park. Once I was inside I started the car and was on my way home.

Since Carlos and I been back together, we've been doing a lot of bounding getting to know each other better. We compromised for one another because we are to individuals and we somewhat like the same things but there's obviously some thing one of us like that the others doesn't. 

At least that's how it is right now.

We were currently doing some laps around the park. Deciding it was always good to keep in shape, we both exercise together twice a week. Wednesday and Saturday. Today was Saturday so that's what we were doing. 

After an hour of exercising, we made it back to my apartment.

"Baby."

"Hmm." His eyes never leaving his phone.

"What do you want for dinner home cooked or order in?"I asked sitting in he couch.

"Ummm you choose baby. Whatever is fine with me." He said laying his head in my lap. Running my fingers along his chest feeling how muscular he is.

"Okay..." I grabbed my phone ordering some chines because I didn't feel like cooking right now.

We just chilled and watch t.v until our food got here. 

__________

I absolutely hate this chapter. No cap. But I'm trying to stay consistent with these updates so here it is. I'm lacking imagination at this stage.

Maybe because my life itself is kinda weird right now and some things just not how it's suppose to be. Anyways, good night beautiful peeps.

#staybeautiful